The Basten Family Adoption

Happy Birthday Grandpa

2008-12-21T21:49:00.000-08:00

Helping Mom make cookies

Today is my father's Birthday - Happy 68th Gramps! Here is a conversation Kim had with Josiah about this very fact.
"Why is today Grandpa's Birthday?" Josiah asked.
"Because this is the day Grandpa was born." Kim said.
"This is the day he was born?" Josiah asked.
"Yes" Kim said.
"Was he born in a stable?" asked Josiah.
Much laughter followed.... just a little Christmas/Birthday confusion.

Here we are with Grandpa cutting down our Christmas Tree

Olivia decided to cut her bangs off with a scissors recently

Where has all the time gone

2008-12-16T07:27:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's been 6 months since my last post... WOW! But I referred to my blog in my Christmas letter, so I thought I'd better get things up to date. So much has happened in that time so I guess I'll just start with today. We sent Olivia in to wake up Josiah for school. Joshia attends preschool Tuesday and Thursday and Olivia M-W-F. So Olivia comes out crying because Josiah wacked her. Oh so typical in the Basten household. So I dropped Josiah off before I went to work, and as we typically do, we race from the van to the front door of school and Josiah won - again! So Josiah took off his coat and gloves and one of the little boys from his class came out and said "hi" to Josiah, and grabbed his hand, and the two of them walked back into class holding hands as I walked away saying "I love you". He has come so far.

Both of them have adjusted to the point where we can leave them with babysitters or they can go by Grandma and Grandpas by themselves and there's no trauma in our separation. Gabriella has progressed to where she can be comforted by anyone in the family rather than being Kim's little shadow. It's been an amazing year. Last year at this time, we were just coming to terms with not being able to bring them home in 2007. I can't even remember what our quiet house used to be like :). But we wouldn't want it any other way. Just so very thankful to be where we are... Til next time.

Enjoy this picture of Josiah and Gabriella dressed up for Halloween

Summer Fun (Finally...)

2008-06-26T19:59:00.000-07:00

We took a trip to Minneapolis St Paul Int'l Airport yesterday to welcome home Teddy Redman to America. Julie was in Liberia back in March in hopes of picking up Teddy while I was picking up Gabriella and our friendship grew from our time together there. Kim and Julie were friends before I went to Liberia, but Liberia was the first time I met her. She showed me the ropes in Liberia and helped me see more of Liberia than I would have on my own. Since that trip we visited with them in Stratford when Hamilton was up, and so i've gotten to know Scott as well and the rest of the family.

Anyways, after many, many setbacks, they were finally able to bring Teddy home yesterday. We were so excited for them, that we just had make the trip to Minnesota and celebrate - and we were so glad we did. Another couple, the Joyces, met at the airport too. We met Mike and Pat Joyce in Brussels on our way to get Josiah. Unfortunately our trip was cut short that time and we never really got to know them as well as we had liked. We also never got to see their beautiful children. So they were kind and generous and invited us all back to their home for some pizza. Their son Kevin is 3 and was in the same orphanage as Josiah. So it was so sweet to see their reunion and how excited they were to see each other. They were wrestling and hugging and having a blast.

Tomorrow is Joshua's 12th Birthday, so he had a friend spend the day and the weather was finally nice (87 and mostly sunny) so we took advantage of it and got the jetskis out for the first time this year. So Josiah and Gabriella expierence their first jetski ride. We had a lot of fun, and the water felt great. But the fact that Joshua is 12, means Kim and I are definitely getting old. I remember everything about his delivery and early months - each of those precious stages - rolling over, crawling, first tooth, but it seems like it's been a blur since then. But we rejoice in how the Lord has blessed us through Joshua.

Josiah with his buddy Kevin Joyce

Action shot of Gabriella and Olivia playing at the Joyces
Olivia ready to jetski
Caleb snuck this one of me working - all work and no play makes dad a crabby patty
Gabriella has been with us 3 months already - so Kim was getting some post placement pictures
Look at me - I'm swinging
Some of the Redmans, Joyces, and Bastens
Teddy on the floor in the airport opening some gifts

Gabriella enjoying Shawano Lake
Ready for a tube ride
Can't wait til I can drive this
Joshua the birthday boy
The 3 youngest playing on the jetski

It's Officially Summer

2008-06-23T08:09:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately someone forgot to tell the weather. We are still anxiously awaiting a warm day where we can try out the jetskis for the first time. In the meantime, the kids started swimming lessons last week. Josiah loves the water, even though he's usually shivering and the chlorine bleaches his skin. Joshua is in level 5, Elizabeth and Caleb in level 4, Olivia in level 1, and Josiah is in beginner. But they are all doing great. Olivia is definitely the bravest of her age group, and loves jumping off the diving board. Meanwhile Gabriella, forced to watch each day, keeps getting closer and closer to the water.

This weekend we attended a birthday party with very good friends that have "adopted" us into their family. And the cool part for the kids, is that there were 6 adopted children at the party. 3 sisters from this family have adopted, so their were three from Ethiopia, one from China, and two from Liberia. It was a great time of playing and getting wet.

Julie Redman, who I spent a week with in Liberia, and have visited once since being back, has been back in Liberia for a third time in order to bring Teddy home. It's been a long road for them, so we are anxiously awaiting the news that both of them boarded the plane.

Gabriella and Caleb
Gabriella being her cute self
Elizabeth and Gabriella snuggling
Joshua with his summer hair cut and summer atire.
Olivia with Gabriella showing off her braided hair that mom worked so hard on
Josiah smelling the flowers
Helping dad water the flowers
What a cutie - I dread those dating years
Another hairstyle courtesy of mom

Hope you had a great Father's Day

2008-06-16T06:03:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to post quick that the local newspaper featured an article in the Sunday paper about our adoption. It was a privilege to share our story and hopefully get others thinking about adoption. If you're interested, you can read the story on-line: Basten Family to celebrate Father's Day with two more kids. Also here's a couple more pictures of our "cuties".

being silly with diapers on our heads
i know - i'm cute
Seeing what it would be like to be the "big" sister with one of my cousinsPlaying with my pony substituting a fireman's hat for a cowboy hat
cute and cuddly in my pajamas

Introducing for the first time...

2008-06-11T11:37:00.000-07:00

We were in court this morning to readopt Josiah and Gabriella as our children. So I'd like to introduce to you for the first time Josiah Thomas Boimah Basten and Gabriella Kimberly Basten as our legal children and citizens of the U.S. My parents joined us in court to witness the proceeding. Then we went out for lunch after to celebrate.

With the judge after the court order for their name change.

With Grandma and Grandpa Basten

The whole Basten family

This is typical Josiah style - full of energy and moving so much even the camera couldn't catch him still.

With suckers and balloons from Grandma and Grandpa

Another Post - So Soon

2008-06-08T22:32:00.001-07:00

Nothing new from Basten Family. Summer vacation has officially started. We attended a graduation party on Saturday at a VFW and Josiah learned a valuable life lesson: "Don't throw rocks". He broke a basement window of a neighboring house. So that was exciting for a moment. And we've been trying to help Josiah and Gabriella get rid of Giardiasis - a parasite disease. So they are on their third dose of anti-biotics. And today out of the blue, Gabriella starts crying, and we can't figure out why but discover her pants need to be changed. And it's the first time she's had solid stool since we've had her. And we finally put two and two together that it either hurts coming out or she's afraid because it's different then she's ever experienced. She cryed again spontaeously and again a dirty diaper. We found it a bit humorous, but we rejoiced in solid pooh. Other than that, thought we share some more pictures.

The girls with their pajamas "hiked up"
Olivia and Gabriella fixing their hair
Olivia playing horse with Josiah playing cowboy
Elizabeth showing off her new "do"
Riding a toy 4 wheeler at Aunt Miriam's
Close-up of Josiah
Being boistrous
Gabriella sitting in the doll carrier on Olivia's bike

Hello - Anybody Out There?

2008-06-04T19:00:00.000-07:00

After a 2 month absence, I've finally gotten back to the blog with an update. Things are going very, very well, and we are enjoying our family tremendously. We are extremely blessed and thankful to be at this point. All our children have been adjusting so well to all the changes and the progress of everyone has been amazing. Tomorrow is the last day of school, so come Friday, Kim will be more exhausted, and more in need of a break from the kids. But we have a plan to provide structure and eliminate some of the chaos. The kids will be in swimming lessons for 4 weeks which will help. But things are extremely busy! My business is doing well, which has added to the busy-ness, which is why it's been so difficult to sit down and blog. But my sincerest appologies to those of you who have faithfully checked, only to find the same old post. I'll try to recap the last 2 months briefly in pictures.

Showing off our pearly whites

Bath time is so much fun!

Sleeping Angel
Holding hands in our car seats

Posing with Grandma Maly

The whole Basten Family

On the shore of the Wolf River in Shawano watching the migration of Sturgeon

Joshua showing off his new glasses

6 kids has made me a little crazy

Love will make you do this

Posing with our Great Aunt Miriam (Kim's dad's sister) We visited family over Memorial Day weekend in Richland Center in the soutwest part of the state.

End of School Year field trips meant we visited the NEW Zoo more than once. Here Joshua is feeding one of the giraffes named Hodari

The before picture

Elizabeth got her hair cut so that she could donate her hair to Locks of Love

Exhausted

2008-04-04T14:58:00.001-07:00

I was very afraid of Emma (our dog) the first day. Now I'm not afraid anymore.

This is my big sister Olivia. She always wants to hold me and pick me up and she doesn't understand that I don't like that "all" the time.
Joshua, Josiah and Gabriella Me showing off my "Daddy's Girl" outfit

We are quite fashionable

Well it's be a challenging week, but a very rewarding week. I've been very tired and still recovering from the trip and the time difference. After having been gone for 12 days, everyone "needed" me. Throw on top of that the fact the Olivia and Joshua contracted strep throat and Gabriella having an ear infection, and Josiah just getting over the flu, there were even more "needs" then normal. So quite often it was chaotic at our house. I'm sure if you were a fly on the wall you'd be going "these guys are way in over their head". But there has been a lot of laughter amid the tears and unmet needs. Kim's mentally drained by the challenges they present, and tired from the extra laundry and cooking and such. Gabriella is a much more picky eater than Josiah, so she sometimes feels like a short order cook trying to get something she will eat. She's a big rice fan, so we've experimented with much more rice dishes than we ever have in our life. She also likes oatmeal and most hot cereals. So it's not that she's not eating, but she turns her nose up even at cookies and ice cream and all those other treats. So that will take some adjusting. We have her on Soy milk and she likes that, so she's getting plenty of vitamins and all that jazz. Other than that, it's been difficult working full time this week. Only worked about half to 2/3rds time - just trying to meet the demands of our growing family and catching up with the kids. So we are tired - but very, very thankful to be where we are. It seemed like a long and difficult road at times, but we are truly blessed with both Josiah and Gabriella. They are both wonderful children and truly love them.

It's been neat to see Josiah and Gabriella interact. They hold hands often in the van, because their carseats are next to each other. Gabriella is opening up more and talking more. She's not afraid of the car seat or Emma, and she even get's jealous of Josiah and wants to be wherever he is if it involves Kim or I. Gabriella has attached to Kim, but has also attached to Joshua and Elizabeth a little, so more time will solidify the transition, but she certainly trusts Kim to meet her needs and has even cried for Kim when she wants her.

I think of Liberia often and think back to what I was doing a week ago, and where I was and the people I saw and met. I'm thankful for that time I had and look forward to going back someday with our children. Thanks again to all who encouraged and followed our progress. So many times I felt you prayed us through those difficulties, and we couldn't have done it without you. It was both humbling and encouraging. We look forward to sharing our children with you very soon.

We're Home

2008-03-31T10:39:00.000-07:00

Sorry it took so long to say this - but made it home safely Saturday Night to O'Hare Airport in Chicago. Everything about the trip home went well. But obviously trying to catch up on sleep and overcome jet lag. It was so good to see everyone and to be back with our baby girl. I will post again soon.

Made it to Brussels (for the final time)

2008-03-29T00:55:00.000-07:00

Well Gabriella and I are in Brussels waiting for our connection. But my adoption journey would not be complete without one more stress-filled situation. Buster from AoH picked me up around 6:15 for my 9:30 flight. It's about an hour drive and we got there around 7:15. Buster gave me my documents for the necessary clearances and said he would be outside if there were any problems. Well I get through security and proceed to the ticketing counter and the attendant asks for my final destination. And I explain Brussels, and that I had two itinerarys and that I would be going from Brussels to Amsterdam on another airlines. He informed me "no you won't" because Gabriella would need a Visa to enter Amsterdam because she's a Liberian citizen. American citizens don't need one, but Liberians do, so my hopes to save money using my Frequent Flier miles back fired. So I proceeded to the Brussels airlines office which is outside the terminal, all the time leaving my luggage in the terminal (wondering whos going to walk off with it). There was nothing the Brussels airlines attendant could do. So I proceed to go out in the parking lot, and someone calls Buster for me, while I have another guy get me a $5 Lonestar cellphone card. Fortunately I had asked Julie to leave me her phone, which is really Lauries. Anyways, I proceed to call Golden Rule and get a new itinerary. But even with the new itinerary, the Brussels travel agent could not print out my boarding passes. Well three $5 cards later, and several phone calls to Golden rule and 3 hours, I finally had my tickets and still had all my luggage. The only saving grace was that the flight coming in was delayed otherwise I would have never made it. And because the flight was delayed, had not the agent questioned my itinerary, I would have missed connection toAmerstam or had I made it, i would have been stuck there. We did not get on the plane and take off until 12:40am and Gabriella was up this whole time. She had some meltdown moments (who wouldn't) but we managed to get through it. But I found out she can get awefully sassy with no sleep. I began to really worry about the flight. I prayed for an empty seat next to me (because she was still on a lap ticket on the first leg) and that there would be a kind person next to me - and God answered both those prayers. And my last prayer would be that she would sleep. Amazingly enough, she fell asleep as we were taxing just before we took off. She woke up once and cried while we were eating dinner and i had to take a walk down the aisle, but 2 minutes and she was back asleep and slept the entire flight. She's being a little fiesty as I type here because she's still tired and i'm ignoring her, but we should make it to Chicago by 6:30 tonight where Kim will pick me up and we'll stay at her mom's in Milwaukee. So thanks for all the prayers, looking forward to being on American soil very soon with my little princess.

All Smiles - I'm Heading Home

2008-03-28T04:39:00.000-07:00

I haven't heard otherwise so assuming I will be boarding the 9:30 flight tonight. I'm packed and ready to go. I'd appreciate your prayers for the whole trip. Gabriella is very "fiesty" today. Very determined and quick to express her displeasure anytime things aren't going her way. So I expect the 30 hr travel time to feel more like 60. But this too shall pass - can't wait to get home!

Good News

2008-03-26T03:33:00.000-07:00

I received Notification that my DNA confirmation arrived at the DHL facility this morning and is already with the courier and should arrive at the Embassy today. I received the notification while Chris was doing paperwork with Christian Lindsay. So I informed him and he will follow-up on it. Also although I didn't meet with Alma yesterday (thought I had to), I met with one of the other employees of the Embassy and according to Chris, since I signed all the papers yesterday, that I do not need to go back to the Embassy. He will just pick up the Visa when it's ready. We'll see how it all plays out, but I should be able to fly out Friday.

Liberian Time

2008-03-25T17:48:00.000-07:00

Before the Embassy Appointment

After the Embassy Appointment Time works different here. The wonderful people of Liberia have learned not to worry too much about tomorrow or even the next hour. I've come from a country where we dream about our kids going to college before they are even out of the womb. We worry about retirement and whether we have a rock solid portfolio when we are 40. I've come from a country where 'things' can be fixed when broken or can be replaced with a new 'thing'. Liberia barely has an education system, they have no retirement plan, and if you get to be 40, you are not at mid-life you are old. They've learn to make due with whatever is available. If it's broke and you can't fix it you better learn to live without it because chances are there is no store to buy another or even if there was, you probably won't have the money to afford it. Life's priorities are different here. We both have the same basic needs - a job, food, shelter and a good education for our kids. But those very basics are attained with much difficulty here. So as a result, Liberian Time is very much controlled by taxis that breakdown, meetings that are not on schedule, by electricity not coming on at certain times, by loveds ones ill by a various many diseases, by gasoline running out at the gas station, or your own vehicle choking on watered down gas. So things just get done in a Liberian minute.

I've had time to evaluate my situation a little more, and I'm doing much better. The selfish part of me wants to be home with my wife and kids and to just be "done" with the adoption. But from day one, this adoption has never been about me. And so I've been trying to really see what God is trying to teach me through all of this. The obvious is that nothing is under my control but everything is under His. But there are others like learning true dependence on God, and not psuedo dependence of what I can accomplish in the name of God. And there will be more that I'm still trying to process.

So I tried to focus on the positive and see good in what has happened. Today was an absolute great day with Gabriella. She is really starting to open up with me. She's "jibber-jabbering" much more. Some words I think I make out and others I may just be inferring. But I enjoyed reading books with here and eating cheerios. She's certainly letting me kiss her cheeks and head more, and to touch her arms and legs and feet. We have a routine with nap and bedtime now that I really love about the day. I stand up holding her as I rock back and forth with her head on my shoulders. After a few minutes of that and a song or two, I lay down with her on my belly and her head still on my shoulder as I gently caress her untill she falls asleep. I love this precious girl and she's worth everything it costs.

So I took a gamble and rescheduled my flights for Friday night. The Embassy is going to try to fax a letterhead document to the DNA lab, and hopefully they will accept that and get it back to the Embassy today. If that happens then I would be able to go back to the Embassy on Thursday and get the necessary clearances by Friday, fly out Friday night and be home Saturday night. If that doesn't happen, then I'm stuck waiting on DHL, which means new Embassy appointment next Tuesday and flying home next Wednesday. So I'll be praying to for God's mercy in working that out.

An Unplanned Extension in Liberia

2008-03-25T10:07:00.000-07:00

Well unfortunately thanks to DHL and a number of other circumstances to numerous to mention, I am not leaving Liberia tomorrow. I so want to be home, but now is not that time. First I went to the Embassy this morning and waited for over an hour, only to be told to come back at 2 - that Alma (the US Consulate) was not in. Meanwhile Julies friend Mark (and now mine) went to the DHL office to see what's up. He was informed that the DNA results will not be here until Friday. So I returned at 2 and waiting another hour fifteen only to find out they didn't even know I was there. So I finally get in, and Alma would not meet with me. They would not accept my electronic copy of the DNA, and also 2 new clearances required to leave the country with Gabriella had not been received. So I'm hanging out here for as long as it takes - not happy about that but nothing I can do. I'm now in the process of trying to reschedule flights and all that. I have so much more to share, but I may have to wait to post that until I get back. I have a lot of frustrations, and now is not the time. Thanks for praying!

Quick DNA Update

2008-03-23T17:11:00.001-07:00

I just happened to check out the DHL tracking of our DNA. The last update I gave on Friday it was in Brussels. Yesterday it made it to Lagos, Nigeria, and from there it went to Libreville, Gabon. Today it left there and made it to Douala, Cameroon which according to DHL at 11:51 Sunday evening "Shipment arrived at incorrect facility. Sent to correct destination.". There is still plenty of time to get it here, but it's like de ja vu all over again. If you think of it, please pray for this final step to be completed without a hitch. Thanks much!

He Is Risen

2008-03-23T13:53:00.000-07:00

Those are the most important three words in all of creation. All other religions are just that – religions, and what they worship a dead god. But that first Easter proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jesus is the Son of God, and t.hat we serve the one true living God. And the same power that raised Jesus from the dead is the same power that can work in you and me if we will only call upon the name of Jesus and be saved. The cool part about celebrating Easter in Liberia, is that Christ is the true melting pot, because we all serve one Lord and Savior, and he defies economic boundaries and racial boundaries and language boundaries and geographical boundaries. I celebrated the Risen King with my brothers and sisters at First Church in New Kru Town (African Christian Fellowship Int’l). Even though in song I did not know the Kru language I took part in the universal language of worship. I hope your Easter was filled with wonderful worship.

Other than that didn’t do anything else today except sweat. It felt especially hot today (about 95 with 80% humidity). I also daydreamed about being back home. Thanks to my mom, Easter is a wonderful culinary experience at my parents. My mother is a wonderful cook (Kim is too) and she goes all out on Easter. There is a wide variety of fresh bakery – caramel rolls, pecan rolls, Norwegian kringle, decorated cut-out sugar cookies, polish sausage, scrambled egg dish, French toast sticks, ham, decorated boiled eggs, fresh homemade rolls, and I’m sure I’m forgetting something. So I was feeling a little jealous over my peanut butter and jelly for lunch and rice and butter beans for supper. But I know I ate much better than a lot of Liberians today.

Gabriella is doing great. I feel very blessed. She still hasn’t said many words. She seems to open up more with Teddy (Julie Redman’s son) but still is quite cautious with me. We played with cheerios and the cheerio book and played some fisher price which was progress. But she got mad enough at me today where she hit me. Teddy was trying to be nice and gave her a piece of hard candy, but I was afraid she might choke on it, so I wouldn’t let her have it and she was extremely mad at me. Also putting her down for her nap took some work today. But overall she’s a great eater, and very easy going, and I know the rest of those things will come with time.

Only 3 more days in Liberia. I meet with Chris to do the paperwork for the embassy tomorrow, and I’m having a local school girl do Gabriella’s hair. Also I’m heading to the markets tomorrow to get the long list of things Kim requested I get, including a drum and some outfits for future birthdays.

It's In The Bag

2008-03-22T18:12:00.000-07:00

Today we scheduled a trip to Cooper Beach. We got there and we were the only people there except 2 guys under another thatched umbrella beach hut. I set my bag down and immediately Claudia Felando warned me that I needed to keep all my things at the center of the hut or they will be stolen. The beach is about a 20 foot slope to the water based on the differing levels of the tide. They had some awesome waves that were taller than me, and Gabriella was petrified of the ocean (as the picture shows). The water was a little cool and with the waves being so strong, we didn’t stay there long. Maybe 30 minutes. The 2 guys I did not trust though so I stayed up near the top near our hut. Occassionally one of them would walk buy but they’d return to their hut about 30 or 40 feet from ours. Anyways we decided to go to the lagoon which is shallow and warm (like bath water). And I grabbed my camera out of my bag and was taking pictures of the kids in the water. Maybe had my back to the hut for one minute. And I walked back up to the hut to put my camera away and my bag was gone. I experienced the Liberian Entrepreneurial Spirit first hand. They saw a business opportunity and seized it. The bad news: they got $50 US (about $3050 LD) a cell phone (worth $100 US plus $12 in minutes), 4 packs of Juicy Fruit, all my baby wipes, my only bottle of Aveno lotion for Gabriella, 2 diapers, a baseball cap, a dress of Gabriellas, and her Elmo phone. I of course was upset, but I still was able to pray for them. Normally the Felando's bring a dog to guard things becaus most Liberians are afraid of dogs, but didn't this time. The good news is, I had my passport in there yesterday and actually more money yesterday, but felt led this morning to remove them. And I had just grabbed the camera, which after my passport, is probably my most prized possession right now. And I was not harmed nor my daughter, and everything is replaceable. I of course thought nasty thoughts about praying a curse on them or wishing bad things but ultimately I know the biblical principals of being destitute and how that can lead to stealing and all sorts of things. To be too rich or too poor are both bad. Anyways, I’ve been able to laugh about it several times and forgiven them for what they did. I’m waiting for my bag to show up in one of the markets. If I see it, I’ll buy it back.

On the way back I saw the orphanage for the first time. Because of the uncertain future of Liberian adoptions (they are supposed to announce something in a week), all the orphanages have been combined into one facility. So was able to quickly meet Gabriella’s and Josiah’s nannies. Everyone that I met at the orphanage was pleasant and helpful and wonderful servants. Also a good sign was when Gabriella’s nanny held out her hands to her, Gabriella didn’t want to leave me. But she did eventually and of course when it was time to leave, she didn’t want to leave the nanny. But I felt good about the first part anyways.

Went to a market and ordered matching handmade batik shirts for me and Josiah and dresses for Kim and Gabriella. They are all chocolate brown and gold batiks with a Christian message. A really neat Liberian explained the message behind each work.

Other than that, I went to a Liberian restaurant this afternoon and had dry rice with fish (with the head and eyes and teeth in tact) and some hot spicy pepper, eggplant and oil (the dark stuff). It tasted good and Gabriella loved it, but made my nose water. The best part about the whole thing was 2 cold cokes. One thing I miss with being in Liberia is cold drinks. Typically the water is warm, and don’t have milk, and so soda was a real treat. As I’ve mention before, electricity is off from 3:30 – 6:30pm Mon, Tues, Thur and Fri. On Wed it’s off from 3:30 – 12:30am. On Saturday though, the electricity is off from 6:30am – 12:30am Sunday. And Sunday it’s off from 6:30am – 6:30pm. So Refrigeration of food doesn’t work to well without electricity. So everyone has some sort of generator or backup power supply. At the guest house we have some florescent lights that work on the backup power - but no fans and no refrigerators. We did figure out how to get internet though because the internet is wireless off of the cell towers. So anyways I savored my cold cokes.

Two other funny things about our stay at the guest house. Our neighbors own exactly 3 CDs – Celine Dion, Kenny Rogers, and Don Williams. So every night we hear the same CDs playing – could be worse I guess. Also each night a tiny little mouse begins work traveling from somewhere in the living to the somewhere in the kitchen. Must be how he gets his midnight snack.

Good Friday

2008-03-21T15:42:00.001-07:00

Today I went to New Kru Town for Good Friday service at Julie Redman's friend Mark Nimley's church. It was an awesome experience. But I have to confess, I was fearful traveling into New Kru Town. It's the most poverty I have ever seen. I think my fear is based solely on the unknown. Fear that someone will jump me and rob me. I was confessing that with David Felando and he said he experienced the same thing the first trip here. Every Liberian I have met have been wonderful. So we travel about 45 minutes by taxi to get to new Kru town and when I arrive and get out of the taxi, Gabriella starts crying hysterically. I don't know if it stirred a memory in her or what but she was genuinely afraid. But after about 3 minutes she calmed down. We arrived at church ( a one room church with about 10 rows of pews) at about 11:15. They were having a time of teaching - like sunday school. Service started at noon. Fortunately I'm getting back in the hang of this infant thing, but i brought a couple diapers, toys, and a change of clothes. Gabriella's first poop was in church, when we were all on our knees in prayer. Since everyone's head was bowed, I just changed her right there on the pew. The pews are wooden, but only 2/3 wide as what I'm used to in the states. My butt kept getting numb on them. Julie experienced the same thing. I'm used to having room to slouch. But I was asked and gave the opening prayer/invocation for Good Friday service. So that was a privelege. They were very welcoming at the church. Mark and his mother both attend the church. Church lasted until 2:30.

As I looked outside occasionally during church, i noticed these children ages 6-8 carrying 6 foot timbers. Not sure if it was for play or for a home, but this one little 6 yr old was balancing one on her head and dragging one in her arms. Then I saw another boy come by with just a t-shirt on and another in just his birthday suit. Just outside the church was the well - a busy place as each family was drawing their water. The other thing I noticed is that even though Liberia is a dusty dirty place, these women had on these beautiful white (I mean the whitest white) outfits and hats or headdresses. Most of the ladies in the choir had flip flops or sandals on, but each one’s toe nails were painted. For how poor, they were all dressed so nice. And then when it came time for offering, everyone gave. And as I observed, I probably gave the most monetarily, but like the woman who gave two mites, I know that each of them was probably giving sacrificially out of their need, while I was giving out of my abundance. The only thing different than the states, is it’s quite common to make change out of the offering plate. Do that in the states and people will think your robbing the church.

After church we headed to Rock Hill. The pictures above are the children from Rock Hill. I started by taking a picture of two, and soon the kids came running. They loved having their picture taken. And especially after I showed them the back of the camera and they could see their picture, they all wanted their picture taken. They were all so beautiful. We took a walk with Pastor Charles as we toured the whole town and got to see the new church they are building as well as Pastor Charles house. A couple serving with Spirit Liberia is helping to get a well built there. I just loved the children and could have taken anyone of them home. Rock hill is a very difficult place to see. My worse day is nothing compared to the work they do pounding and mining for rock. The top workers just make pennies per day (20 to 40 cents I think) if they can sell their rocks. I saw a group of teenage girls walk through carrying big boulders on their head and then someone else breaks them into smaller and smaller rocks. I saw another part where they burn tires – so this thick black highly toxic smoke – to heat up the rock to make it easier to break out of the earth. It’s a tough tough life is all I know.

This evening I got a scare. I layed down with Gabriella at 7:30 to put her to bed. She did not want to lay down. Meanwhile I had a headache and so I did want to lay down. I was falling asleep faster than her. I opened my eyes to see her asleep sitting up. So I layed her down next to me and I fell back asleep. I wake up about 10 and she’s gone. Didn’t think anything of it so I go out by Julie and ask her if she has my daughter and she asks “are you serious?” and I said “She’s missing”. So I run back in the bed room and her she was tangled in the mosquito netting asleep on the floor under the bed. Don’t know if she fell out or crawled out or what. But I put her back in bed without waking up and that’s where she is now.

Well there is no electricity on the weekends, so the next update will be on Monday. Have a great Easter!

So Many Firsts

2008-03-20T16:11:00.000-07:00

I had the priviledge of changing the first diaper, feeding her the first meal, giving her the first bath, and putting her to bed for the first time. All things that I wish so much that Kim could have enjoyed with me. She cried throughout the whole bath (the only real noise she's made) but didn't mind at all as I lotioned her up and put a onesie on her for bed. My favorite part was putting her to bed. I was standing up and rocking back and forth and she was obviously tired so I laid her down and she didn't object. We laid and her foot was touching my thigh. And she kept moving it back and forth. And periodically opened her eyes and in the darkness looked at me with those big brown eyes and said "your not going to leave me are you?". Even though I did need to make some calls, e-mail some pictures and blog, but I looked back at her and assured with a smile "No Gabriella, your daddy's never gonna leave you". And I gently stroked her legs as she peacefully fell asleep. I just took in the moment of her heart beating next to mine, and in an instant, it erased months of struggle and frustration. I love this little girl even though I still don't know her and am so thankful to finally be at this point.

I have my daughter

2008-03-20T12:05:00.000-07:00

I took a trip to downtown Monrovia today to ride along with our Missionary hosts the Felandos. They had to run to a supermarket and hardware store. So I took my camera and took it all in. My first impressions were it is very congested. Every stop your car is surrounded with street vendors of every sorts: ties, floor standing fans, pillows, newspapers, gum, water, chocolate, nuts, plantains. The most interesting vendor I saw was a man pushing a wheelbarrel full of snails in the shell the size of rats. I have to get a picture those so you can see what I mean. Though very congested, its very orderly and civil. Driving in Monrovia is an art. It's a combination of being aggressive with the gas pedal, brake and horn. It's certainly not for the faint of heart. Occasionally you'll have a police officer directing traffic, but there are no street lights.

When we got downtown to the supermarket, it was a very nice supermarket in "Liberian" terms. They have guards on the outside of it, so it's very much of a status symbol to walk inside. I felt very much like a rich spoiled American, when there were amputees sitting just outside the door begging for food. They sell dog food and cat litter inside and outside there are thousands who don't have their basic needs met. They even sold Fruit Cake fruit. Not sure what demand there is in Liberia, but we only see in the states around Christmas time. So after shopping I took $5 US and got $305 LD (Liberian Dollars) from a corner exchange rate booth. It's not the Bank of Liberia, but it worked for me. When I was in the Brussels airport I stopped in a shop to buy a pair of sunglasses (because I don't own a pair) and the first pair was $107 EU (approx $160 US). So I said no thank you. So right after I exchanged my money, a sunglasses street vendor approached me. $150 LD (about $2.50 US) so of course I bought them. Only to be told I was ripped off by Julie's Liberian friend Mark. There was also a street vendor selling smoked fish for $10 LD (approx .17 cents) and ground Cassava root (instead of rice because it's thicker and leaves your stomach more satisfied) which was also $10LD. David bought lunch for several of them, and then everywhere we stopped I gave out $20 LD. So I was able to bless two amputees and all the others were children. Every place we stopped I gave money. And how much did I actually give - $2.50. That's not even a happy meal or another menu item at fast food. Yet everyone of them thought I was giving them $100US.

There was this young boy who came up to us and asked if he could come with us. It broke my heart. David asked where his mother was and he said at home resting. But the poor boy chased after us for at least 1 mile and half through the slow congested downtown traffic. I finally gave him some money and we gave him part of our lunch. There was also this very skinny mother with her child who stopped us before the supermarket. We didn't have anything at that time. But she found us again at a different intersection and Claudia gave her some food and I gave her some money. The poverty is so great - and we are so blessed.

The only other excitement was the Presidential motorcade came right in front of the guest house. So from my 2nd story balcony I watched and there were only 2 cops leading and 4 black SUVs and Hummers formed a diamond around the presidential vehicle which was also the same. So in one day I've gotten closer to their president then I ever have in 40 years of living in the US.

Lastly I picked up my daughter today. Of course she's absolutely beautiful. She hasn't said "boo" yet. But she has rubbed my face and pulled the hair sticking through the neck line on my shirt. I knew she was getting tired so I was going to try and lay down with her in my bedroom. But when I attempted to crawl through the mosquito netting, she began crying hysterically. So I came back out and she was falling asleep sitting up and Julie asked if she could rock her and so that's where she is. So we'll she how she does tonight but I'll work through it. Just glad to be to this place. Made every tear, every frustration, every anxious moment worth it. I'm blessed to be a part of her life. But this world is filled with so many children who don't have this chance.

For dinner tonight we ate traditional Liberian. It is a traditional butter rice, with water greens with red palm oil and then cut up fresh mango. Water greens are like potato greens - green leafy part from sweet potatoes shredded - but these are supposedly better and a staple in Liberian diet) It was wonderful! I got a chance to feed Gabriella for the first time. She was eating well and all of sudden she clamped up and didn't want anymore. Turns out she wanted a drink. Then she would eat some more. Then all of sudden she had had enough and spit the last spoonful out. So evidently she's a woman who knows what she want.

P.S. We have a DHL tracking number for the DNA results and they shipped out yesterday and and left New York this morning, so I don't see a problem with them arriving in time for the Embassy appointment on Tuesday. Also I head to the AoH office tomorrow to do my paperwork and will be able to visit the orphanage tomorrow.

Greetings from Liberia

2008-03-20T02:52:00.000-07:00

Well I arrived safely last night around 6:35 (1:35 CST). Everything went smoothly traveling over here... just a long trip. I slept some on the Liberian leg of the trip, so I felt ok, probably a little excited to be here too. The airport is completely different then the last time we were here. Much more "modernized" - but still somewhat chaotic. Got my luggage and proceeded to go outside only to find noone with that friendly "AoH" sign waiting for me. I had no phone and no number to call - so not exactly the situation I was hoping for. There were mobs of people behind barracades with a few uniformed men keeping order. So i certainly didn't want to cross that line looking for anyone. So someone asked who I was looking for and asked for a number, while another guy went looking for them. I had forgot that Kim gave me a number of Julie Redmans friend Mark, so the only numbers I had were the 2 from the AoH website that I put on my Liberian visa application. So he called one, I got an answer and they said they would try to get someone over to the airport, but just then the other man returned to say he had found them. So that was the extent of my excitement. The drive to the guest house seemed like it took an hour and fifteen. Just looked around and took in everything.

Got to the Shepherd's house around 8:15. Met David Felando (my missionary host), Julie Redman, Mark Nimely, and Teddy (Julie's son). They were all very welcoming and great to meet and see. The electricity was out when I arrived so no fans and no internet. So i borrowed Julie's phone for a 2 minute call to Kim to let her know I made it. I visited for a while, took a much needed shower and headed to bed by 9:15.

By 2am I was wide awake. So I got up, tried the internet again, and no luck. So I figured I might as well get some work done on the computer. Around 3am the dogs started barking and man walked right past the windows of our second story flat. It was the night watchment. The AoH compounds are all "gated communities" and they have 24/7 watchmen the "guard" the place. So I met the night watchment. Anyways I worked for 3 hours until 5am before I forced myself to go back to bed. Slept another 4 hours so I'm feeling very refreshed. Today they are going to bring Gabriella over so very much looking forward to that. We are going to head to some local markets today and are trying to plan a trip to the beach tomorrow or sometime while i'm here. Met Claudia Felando and a couple of the Liberian's who help at the guest house.

Other than that AoH sent me the DHL tracking number for the DNA and it should arrive in Liberia Monday. I will pray to that end. Looking forward to sharing much more of my experience of the next couple days.

Hello from Brussels

2008-03-19T01:50:00.000-07:00

I've made it safely to Brussels. I've been traveling for 16.5 hours so far if you count the time I left my house. My flight to Monrovia leaves in 2 hours and it's a 7 hour flight. Very much looking forward to sleeping tonight.

I'm On My Way

2008-03-18T08:43:00.000-07:00

All praise and glory be to My Lord who is able to do so much more than we could ever ask!

I just got the call from AoH. And although the lab does not have the hardcopy in their possession, they do know the results and Gabriella and her mother are a MATCH. The lab should have the results this afternoon, and if they get them shipped DHL today, the embassy will receive them Friday. If they ship them tomorrow, the embassy should have them Monday. In either case it will be before I need them on Tuesday. AoH will e-mail the tracking number when they have it and e-mail the official results when they have it, so that I have a copy should they not get the hardcopy in time. But everything is a GO and I'm gearing up for the long trip.

We appreciate you all so much. I can't tell you how difficult a week it has been. Wanting to trust, trying to be at peace, but feeling so much anxiety and frustration. So I've struggled with doubt and know that your prayers have held us up during this time. THANKS AGAIN!

Still No DNA Results Yet

2008-03-18T08:25:00.000-07:00

AoH has been in contact with the Lab, and they are trying to locate the hardcopy of the results. Not sure what that means if they have in their building but can't find it to sign off, or if they are still in transit from some place or what. But we are still waiting - thanks for waiting with us...

Today is the Day the Lord Has Made

2008-03-18T06:06:00.000-07:00

Let us rejoice and be glad in it. I set my alarm for 3:30am and got up and once again called the consulate's office, only to receive no answer and be forwarded to a full voice mailbox. I proceeded to call the US Embassy switchboard where I was asked to call back at 2:00 (9am local). So I went back to bed and prayed and eventually fell asleep.

Well I was awakened to the most wonderful news. I received an e-mail at 6:22am from the US Embassy that I have an appointment for next Tuesday March 25th. Thank you to all who prayed when I felt too weak and emotionally drained and didn't know how to pray.

Still anxiously awaiting the DNA results. Gabriella is almost home!!!!!!!

Passport In Hand - Supposed to Take Off in 24 Hrs

2008-03-17T11:38:00.001-07:00

Well my "rushed" passport arrived today. Down to two major roadbloacks to overcome and I just received my check-in reminder for my flight which takes off in 24 hours. I feel quite hopeful about the DNA results, but now the major road block seems to be the Embassy Appointment I need on Tuesday March 25th. On the US Embassy in Liberia website it clearly states:

- Adopting Parents -
We will be unable to assist adopting parents without an appointment. Appointments are available on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Please make an appointment before arriving in Liberia by emailing AdoptionsMonrovia@state.gov.

Well I have sent several e-mails, I stayed up until 3am (8am in Liberia) this morning and called and there was no answer and the voice mailbox is full. I reached the switch board and they forwarded my call and it rang for 5 minutes before I hung up. I then called the switchboard another time and did leave a voice message. I'm in the process of trying to get the Office of Congressman Steven Kagen 8th District, Wisconsin to try to fax the Consulate on my behalf. But I'm not very hopeful i'll have the appointment I need before I'm supposed to hop on a plane. That's where you come in - Please Pray! Thanks

Caleb's in Biloxi

2008-03-16T15:35:00.001-07:00

Our son Caleb (on the left) flew to Biloxi this morning with a group from our church. They are serving with Compassion First a ministry founded by Beaverton Four Square church from Portland Oregon. Kim and I have both gone on two trips to help rebuild homes devasted by hurricane Katrina. In fact for those of you who have followed us from the beginning, you might recall I had to alter one of my trips due to our Federal Fingerprinting being scheduled during one of them. So already back a year ago, it's been somewhat of a logistical nightmare. So we'd appreciate your prayers for Caleb. He's very young (10) to be on a trip like this, but from the beginning it's been his hearts desire to be there. He, on his own without Kim and I knowing, submitted a prayer request at church that somehow he would be able to go, and one of the coordinators approached us about it. Normally they don't let anyone under 12 go, because they can be more work then they are help. Also East Biloxi is not a safe place. Prior to the hurricane, even the police didn't like going to East Biloxi. High crime, gangs and drugs. But the hurricane forced some of them out of the area. But as the rebuilding continues, more and more of it is returning. But there has been somewhat of a revival in the area, as churches have been the cornerstone of the rebuilding effort. Anyways, pray for his growth, success and safety. He flies back next Saturday and will be back for Easter. It's been a blessing to see Caleb's maturity and appreciation, but also to see the rest of the family rally around him. We were all up at 5am this morning to pray for him and see him off.

Also got good news regarding my passport. It left the Milwuakee post office facility last night at 9:26, so I am confident it will be delivered tomorrow. Thanks for your prayers regarding all these details. I'll be pressing AoH to contact the DNA lab to make sure everything is still on schedule to get our results faxed Tuesday morning. Also I'm going to try to get up at 3am monday morning to call the US Embassy in Liberia, as I still need an Embassy Appt for March 25th for Gabriella. In 36 short hours this will all be settled.

Well - Still No Passport

2008-03-15T17:38:00.000-07:00

My tracking number shows the last place my package was scanned was in Maryland and according to the USPS website...

For your extremely urgent shipments, Express Mail is the ideal choice. Items are delivered directly to the addressee at home or place of business. Delivery occurs by noon or 3 p.m. the next business day, or in the case of deferred service, the second business day.

So the next business day is Monday. So if by 3 o'clock Monday I don't have my passport, I'll be making some urgent calls. Also still praying for those DNA results Tuesday morning, and praying for an Embassy Appt Tues March 25th.

Thanks again for hanging with us...

Passport En Route

2008-03-14T19:53:00.000-07:00

Great News! The tracking number for my passport finally shows that its at a post office in Maryland on it's way here. It should arrive tomorrow (i think) but at the very latest Monday. Unless of course FedEx gets involved, then who knows where or when it will show up :)

Still Very Much In Need of Prayer

2008-03-14T15:55:00.000-07:00

I called the Liberian Embassy yesterday to make sure my cashiers check was received and it was and they said the passport was in an envelope ready to go out yesterday. Well it did not. I called again today, and a different person assured me the same thing. But the USPS tracking number I have (because i supplied the prepaid express/priority mail envelope) still shows no record on the USPS website. I'm down to Monday if I don't receive it tomorrow. If they ship it express monday, I could still receive my passport before the flight on Tuesday afternoon. I'm so glad I paid the extra $50 for 24 hour processing. Last time I sent it in on a monday without the extra $50 and received it back by Friday. This time I sent it in last Saturday, and I still don't have it. Go Figure.

Down to the 11th Hour (and 59th Minute)

2008-03-13T08:25:00.000-07:00

First let me start by giving God all the glory in our situation. If everything works out it will be because of Him and for Him, and if it doesn't, it will still be because He has something better planned. I've seen already in how well Josiah is doing that there was definitely divine planning in only having Josiah for the last 6 weeks. He is doing remarkably well and I believe part of that is because we've had only him to focus on. Was that how we planned it - No! Also are other children have had some time to adjust to the changes as well, and so we are so very thankful for where we are at and how we have been blessed.

But I wanted to share a couple encouraging things. First I called the Liberian Embassy in Washington DC this morning and my passport has the visa in it and is in an envelope and will be mailed out today. So I should probably get it tomorrow, but at the very latest by Monday. Secondly I e-mailed AoH this morning to see if our DNA actually made it to the Lab yesterday. And it arrived last night. The AoH represenative is out today, but they spoke with her Supervisor and she said the results would be ready on Monday. Unfortunately the Supervisor is out on Monday and has to sign off on the results, so the sign off will not occur until Tuesday. They will fax the results to AoH, and they will in turn scan them in and e-mail them to us. My flight leaves Green Bay at 1:30pm Tuesday, so there still should be enough time for me to know the results and make the necessary decisions before I have to be at the airport. And there should be plenty of time for the results to get to Liberia for me to make an Embassy Appointment on Tues March 25th, the day before I'm to fly home.

I currently do NOT have an embassy appointment for March 25th, and just sent an e-mail today requesting one. So hopefully in the next couple days i'll get confirmation of that appointment, otherwise I'll be making a few visits to the Embassy in person when I'm there.

So I appreciate your continued prayers. God has already chosen to answer some of them, and we look forward to seeing how he will work it all out. THANKS AGAIN!

Going In Faith

2008-03-12T09:27:00.000-07:00

Well, we only had one submission to name our last post, and I thought it was perfect (thanks Katy). But wanted to pass along another update on our situation.

According to FedEx, our DNA is on a truck and should be delivered to the lab today. Originally what happened was the wrong label was placed on the DNA causing it to be shipped through Memphis. Compounding the situation, the package apparently became "stuck" to another package. FedEx lost the shipment until the other package was delivered with the DNA and the recipient allerted FedEx of the error. AoH has contacted the DNA lab, and their representative was very helpful and sympathetic to our case. She said that if the DNA arrived today as scheduled that she would request that it be put on the top of the list. There are no guarantees, but it is possible that we could have the results back by the 17th, before I travel. This would also allow plenty of time for the DNA to be shipped to the embassy in Monrovia before my flight back to the US. She is also going to use AoH DHL account to ship the DNA back to Liberia which is faster than FedEx. If we don't have the results by next Monday Night, then I have to make some decisions. So obviously prayer is the key.

Also, Mark Schultz is a Christian artist who wrote a song entitled "Everything To Me" about his own adoption story, and held a contest to have someone provide the video for it, and this is the one that won. To me it summarizes the amazing gift of adoption and why Kim and I are doing what we are doing. And no matter the cost, the frustration, or difficulty, it is truly is all worth it.

Name This Posting

2008-03-11T15:18:00.000-07:00

Well I tried to come up with an appropriate name for this posting and they are...
* Wake Me Up When Its Over
* "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord
* The best laid plans...
* Murphy's Law of Adoption
* FedEx - When It Absolutely Positively Has To Get There Overnight
Well Kim and I hung around our computer all day today, just waiting for that e-mail that would affirm a positive link between Gabriella and her mother. By 4pm we had had enough and so we called AoH only to find out that our DNA labwork is still in Tennessee. My outward appearance was rather controlled, though I could feel my temperature rising and knowing I was about to blow a gasket. The DNA was taken on 2/27. It never got picked up until 2/29. Normally the Embassy ships DHL, but for some reason they used FedEx and put the wrong label on the package. Last Thursday it was in Tennessee so should have been delivered to it's destination on 3/7. On 3/7 is when we asked about making travel plans so I could get my Visa. AoH gave us 3/22 - 3/29. Because Gabriella turns 2 on 3/29 it was going to cost $3400 for her one way ticket back, so yesterday we asked if it was possible to come earlier in order to save costs by a lap ticket. They said "yes" make it from 3/19 - 3/26 and that we should have the DNA results today or by tomorrow (3/11). So needless to say, this leaves us in quite a predicament. So we would certainly appreciate your prayers. We need to expedite getting the DNA to the right lab and processed. So goes our continuing saga... all we want is our little girl.

To Go or Not To Go

2008-03-10T18:54:00.000-07:00

Well in my haste to get my Visa application mailed out on Saturday, I inadvertantly sent a personal check for the application. Fortunately I caught my mistake on my own on Sunday as I was balancing my checkbook. So I sent a cashier's check today and called the Liberian Embassy in Washington DC to let them know my mistake. So hopefully it gets there by noon tomorrow and I'm set. Because today I made new flight arrangements to be in Liberia from Wednesday March 19th thru Wednesday March 26th. By doing that I was able to use my frequent flier miles from Green Bay to Brussels and back, and only had to pay $210 for Gabriella's lap ticket for the return trip. Much better than the $760 or $3400. So hopefully my Passport and Gabriella's paper ticket arrive safely by next Monday because I leave at 1:30pm next Tuesday. So now all we need are those positive DNA results tomorrow. We will be sure to share the news as soon as we have it. So hopefully I'll be celebrating Good Friday and Easter with my daughter in Liberia. Stay Tuned...

Here I Go Again (Literally)

2008-03-07T20:59:00.000-08:00

Well still no results on Gabriella's mom's DNA test, but we should have the results this week. If all goes well (as we hope) I needed to be ready to travel again. In order to travel, I needed another Liberian Visa, because I only purchased a 1-time entry the last time. And in order to get a new Visa, I needed to send my itineray to the Liberian Embassy in Washington DC. Well in order to send my itineray, i actually had to have one. So I contacted AoH on when I should expect to travel, and they gave me dates of arriving in Monrovia on March 23rd and leaving Liberia on March 29th. So to that end I booked my flights in faith. When we returned with Josiah a month ago, we returned on Caleb's 10th birthday. This time I will be returning on Gabriella's 2nd birthday. So all the feelings I felt 2 months ago when we starting the process of making my first trip to Liberia, all resurfaced. It seems nothing about the travel goes smoothly - at least for me. I was booking with Golden Rule Travel, and due to the timing of the trip, Spring Break travels are making flight availablities limited. I happened to have 100,000 Northwest Frequent Flier miles, so I worked it out to have Golden Rule book the flight from Brussels to Monrovia, and I was booking the flight from Green Bay to Brussels and back for free using my Frequent Flier miles. I called before I made the reservation to make sure that adding Gabriella as a lap ticket would work and the agent assured me "yes". I was to make the reservation online and call them back. So I called them, and after calling 2 agents and spending nearly 45 minutes on the phone and holding, the lap ticket was going to cost $761. Then they asked for her birth date, and since she turns 2 on the return trip, she doesn't qualify to be a lap ticket. So her ticket would instead cost the low low price of $3480. So needless to say, I have cancelled my trip, and I'm back to square one. I'll have to talk to Ronald Miller on Monday and try to work out something else. I hated to say it, but "Here we go again" :)

Anxiously Awaiting DNA Results

2008-03-04T21:55:00.001-08:00

That's me - a brave soldier in the Army of God!

Here's me posing with the most beautiful woman in the world - my Ma!
Here's me and Olivia having a beach party.
This is my favorite spot to sleep - next to my Pa.

The girls were playing Make-Up Artist so I thought I would take my turn. Aren't I cute?
Olivia shows off her make-up too
And here's my make-up artist - Elizabeth.

Well Gabriella's mom had her DNA drawn last week and the samples are already in the US. So within the week we should know the results. We are trusting God with those results, since He knows them already. If they come back confirming that she is indeed Gabriella's mother, I can book a return flight to Liberia. Just I will be going to get her with a Power of Attorney for Kim. I'm praying that things work out for my friend Steve to accompany me. We thought me leaving would be less traumatic on Josiah then if Kim did. If the results don't come back the way we hope, then we'll be looking to AoH to see what our next step might be.

Josiah had more doctor visits and is catching up on his immunizations. He was walking like an old man this weekend after getting 2 in each thigh. So needless to say, he doesn't like doctors currently because they represent pain. He had a positive reading for TB, but his chest x-ray came back clean. So they did another test to determine if he received a TB vaccination in Liberia. But still waiting to hear back on those results. But all of the results back from Children's Hospital so far are that he is a normal healthy little boy.

In less than 2 weeks, our second son Caleb will be traveling to Biloxi, MS on a mission trip with church. Our church has made several trips to Biloxi to help rebuild after Hurricane Katrina, and Caleb really wanted to go help. He is a little young for the trip (10) but thanks to our wonderful friends Jim and Gale Barshaw, they will be chaperoning and supervising him in our absence. Kim and I have each gone twice, and are glad that Caleb will have this opportunity to serve.

Well that's it for the quick update. Things have been very busy, so sorry updates have been so sporatic. We look forward to sharing the good news with everyone as soon as we have it.

Another Week In the Life of Our Family

2008-02-25T17:44:00.000-08:00

Today I asked Ma if I could go outside and play, so after 3 weeks in America, I finally got to play in that white stuff they call "snow".

I actually enjoyed it - especially when my brother Joshua pulled me in the sled and my sister Elizabeth chased me.
I fight all the time with Olivia. We are both trying to figure out how to share and be nice, but on my own, I turned to her and said "I like you Olivia". And sometimes we can even pose for a nice picture.
I got to go see my Grandma Maly in Waukesha this weekend for the first time. We had a lot of fun, and by the end of the weekend, I was asking her to take me pee pee and poo poo. And I could unroll the whole toilet paper roll faster than she could say "no".

My brothers and I have a fun time playing at night before bedtime. Bedtimes are still quite traumatic for me, so I like to get very active before bed because I don't like for the days to end. I'll do anytihng to not have to go to bed.

This is me and Olivia playing - it's really not as bad and Ma and Pa make it to be.

Me being cool wearing one of papa's caps.

This is Olivia's hand in mine. My skin gets pretty dry over here, but Ma was quite proud when the Doctor's commented how soft my skin is. Ma has a nightly ritual of rubbing me down in Coconut Oil

These are my brothers. I'm not sure what planet they came from.

This is me helping pa work while at Grandmas. When pa's not looking I borrow his ipod. I've adjusted quite nicely to all this technology.

I am so cute - especially when I take a bath

This is ma with her new haircut, no contacts and no make-up. And I think she's beautiful. I love my ma.

The week was filled with more adjustments. Still trying to work through bedtimes, but pajamas and going to sleep are still the most difficult times of the day. On Friday we had an appointment for Josiah at Children's Hospital in Milwaukee at their Adoption Clinic. There were five doctors there that interviewed us on how the transition was going and then they checked him over for a number of different things. But overall they said he is very healthy (and adorable) and if there is anything abnormal from the blood work they will let us know. Otherwise our normal pediatrician will get the results. We'll go through the same test's with Gabriella when she gets home.

Speaking of Gabriella, we have no news still on her situation. We e-mailed AoH, but no word back. We are still waiting for the appointment to draw the DNA. The kit is in Liberia, and the last appointment they had for Gabriella's mother had to be cancelled. So we are trying to be patient, and are thankful for this "alone time" with Josiah, but long to have our baby girl home in our arms.

Thanks to all of you who are hanging with us and continue to ask and encourage us as we wait for this next phase to be completed. We also think of Joyce, Odell and Naomi a lot. Thankfully we are able to keep up on their progress through the Fryes blog. Pray for Joyce and Odell as they have the flu. We also rejoice with the Joyces and Tormey's who we traveled with to Liberia. Their children are absolutely beautiful and give thanks to God for his grace in their regards.

A Good Week

2008-02-16T06:38:00.000-08:00

It was Caleb's 10th birhtday last Saturday, and so mama let us rip down the crepe paper and so i wrapped it around my head - aren't I cute!

This is my papa tossing me around. I like it when he lifts me up high.

This is me listening to my brother's CD player. He's nice and shares with me - plus I really like music.

This is me helping mama with the laundry - i like it when she gives me a ride.

This is me loving my sister Olivia (when we're not fighting :)

This is how I look when I don't get my way (it's kind of a fake cry). But I'm doing this less and less as I trust my mommy and daddy.

This is me singing and dancing to a song "He Loves Me" that I learned in the orphanage.

It's been a very good week! It's been a lot of work, but Josiah and the rest of us are adjusting well, and each day we see small steps in the right direction. I had hoped to post several nights already, but with the new demands of our expanded family and getting back to work after being gone for 2 weeks, it's been quite busy.

Josiah is fitting in very well with our family and it's hard to imagine our life without him. Unfortuntately because our stay in Liberia was so short, we weren't able to talk to his nannies or see the environment he's been in for the last year so we could be more understanding or sensitive to some of his responses, but considering everything, the transition has been incredibly smoothe so far. Josiah is a great eater and great sleeper, very adaptable, very outgoing, and at times very dramatic, but I can see he's growing in that regard - and it really is difficult for us to comprehend the incredible changes he's been through in the last 2 weeks. We purposely had him sleeping in our bed since we brought him home - something Kim and I never did with our bio children. But neither Kim and I have slept very well since then because Josiah's a mover. And he seems to like the middle half of the bed while Kim and I get the outter quarters. The first couple nights he was here, it would take 40 minutes to calm him down to sleep but the last couple nights, he seems to know the routine and has been doing quite well. He still doesn't necessarily like getting his pajamas on, but he's doing better. We rearranged our bedroom last night to have his toddler bed right next to ours. That way Kim could still touch him, and let him know we are close by, and he didn't complain and made it all night in his own bed. We also have a crib in our room as we anxiously await Gabriella's arrival.

Speaking of Gabriella, her mother was scheduled for the DNA draw on Thursday, but we found out there was another new requirement that the birth mom have her birth certificate with her and they weren't sure they could find it in time. But we later found out the consulate cancelled the DNA draw. So we are still waiting on that. Once drawn, it's supposed to take a week to get it to the US and processed. So we are still hoping that within a couple month's we'll be able to bring her home, but nothing definite yet. So please don't forget about her and to pray for all to work out with regards to that.

Other than that, the van rides are less traumatic, putting the coat on is less traumatic. He likes talking on the phone, and wearing jewelry. We bought him a couple pairs of shoes yesterday because it turns out his has a double wide foot. We could tell he had some sores on his feet probably from shoes that didn't quite fit him at the orphanage. He loves water, and despite the cold, he likes shorts and a t-shirt and really doesn't like sweatpants or sweatshirts. He's a good eater and has fallen in love with sugar, so we've had to put up all access to it and make sure our kids aren't leaving it out because he wants too much of it. That was hard with valentines this week. He's taking correction better (just us saying "no") without being traumatized or "fake" crying like the top video. He likes to not use his words, so we are trying to make him talk when he wants something. Not sure if he's learned some of that from Olivia because of her speech problems, but he's getting better. By far that is the toughest relationship. Olivia wants to mother him, and he doesn't want her touching him and in his face all the time. If one sits on a lap, the other one wants to. If one gets a toy, the other one wants that same toy, but that's all normal sibling stuff - so they are learning and adjusting. But thanks for your continued support, and we look forward to show him off to you in person very shortly.

This is me being absolutely adorable - and yes it is cold but I don't seem to mind.

Brrrrrrrr

2008-02-10T09:53:00.001-08:00

Elizabeth thinks it's cool that he sucks his

thumb just like her...

Posing for a smile with my sister Olivia
Dinner Time is a fun time. Here I have some
of Olivia's head bands on. It was tough
for her to share them with me.

Welcome to frigid Wisconsin. -8F outside with a windchill of -33F. In Monrovia right now it's 89F at 6pm but feels like 95F. So our poor little Josiah has to adjust to a 128 degree temperature change. We took him out to church this morning and he did very well. Putting the coat on for a ride in the van is always traumatic because we think he thinks we are going to take him somewhere and leave him. But he calms down quicker each day and is always happy to be back home. He's talking more each day, and even sang a song and danced this morning. He really liked the drums and music at church and so music is always a comforting thing. Joshua practiced his violin yesterday, and Josiah enjoyed that as well. I corrected him for the first time yesterday, so that was a little traumatic, and as I mentioned yesterday, anytime we say no can be difficult, but we are able to hold him and love on him, and he's trusting us more each day. So far he is doing really well with food. He's eaten, toast, eggs, pancakes, lots of banannas, dry cereal, lasagna, turkey sandwiches, rice with chicken, rice with tuna, loves all forms of sugar (cake, cookies, suckers, candy) and we've tried just a little dairy (cheese and milk). He has an appointment at Children's Hospital in Milwaukee at their adoption clinic on Jan 22 to test to see what type of parasites he might have as well as any other medical conditions. Then they can direct our pediatrician from there as to any continued treatment. But we thank God for each day, and for the adjustments he's made already. He seems like a good fit for our family. Kim and I are still very tired and know this week will be more difficult as Kim's sister has headed back home and I head to work.

Continued Progress

2008-02-09T05:36:00.000-08:00

We are using Cocoa Butter for Josiah's skin, so Olivia decided to try some.

Things have been going amazingly well - better than we expected. He really didn't have any fits where he hit us yesterday, and typically when he does have a "melt-down" he seems to be comforted by us and is calmed down much more quickly. He doesn't like the word "no" (what kid does) and he doesn't like to share at the moment, so those are the things that can typically set him off right now, but we see little improvements everyday and we are pleased with how he is doing. Yesterday we got our first kisses from him, and he actually kissed my parents good-bye, who came to see him for the first time. Even though we are disappointed we couldn't bring Gabriella home, we are thankful for this special time to help Josiah adjust. Also yesterday we realized he is responding to Josiah from the kids, so Kim and I have started addressing him as Josiah rather than Boimah too.

Regarding Gabriella, we checked on the status of her and her mother's DNA test, and they have received the DNA kit in Liberia, and need to set up an appointment to get the swabs done. Then from there, they will be sent to the US for testing, and then will be sent back to Liberia to be read in front of the Consulate. I inquired what would happen should the woman prove to not be the mother of Gabriella, and they would then need to search for the mother. There is a similar case where the father turned out not to be, and so they are pursuing the courts to grant custody to the man as an amendment to the adoption and expect things to go smoothly. Each case is different, but there are options open to us should the results come back unfavorably. Also initially we were leaning more towards having Gabriella escorted back, but realize we would have to re-file some federal forms which could delay the whole process, so most likely just I will travel with a power of attorney for Kim, since we feel it would be less traumatic on Josiah for me to leave rather than for Kim to leave. But we'll make all those decisions later.

The Tormey's and Joyce's are enroute home with their children, and so we rejoice with them as things have gone relatively smooth, after a difficult start. We thank God for working out all things on their behalf, and can't wait to see pictures of their children. We miss Joyce, Noami, and Odell who we escorted back and have been following their progress from the Frye's blog. Until next time.

Adjusting to Our New Life

2008-02-06T19:29:00.001-08:00

I've included some pictures from day two in the states and a couple more pictures from our short stay in Liberia with Gabriella. Josiah is warming up to the kids more and played pretty well with all of them. Of course everything is all new and so the kids are all doing pretty well together. We are still in the "honeymoon" phase, so I'm sure that will wear off in due time and they'll be fighting with each other like "normal" brothers and sisters. Josiah had about 5 episodes today where he just hits a wall and for about 15 to 30 seconds will not respond to anything around him. And then he starts crying and wailing and hitting. It's very difficult for the rest of our children to see this, especially when they see him hitting us, but we just hold him tight and rock him or bounce him and sing to him, and eventually he calms down. It's just all part of the attachment process and grieving the losses he's experienced over the past couple days, and the year being in the orphanage. It's so sad to see. Your heart breaks for him, but we don't for a second regret our decision to adopt. It's all worth it and we certainly feel Josiah deserves all the love we can give him.

The news out of Liberia is encouraging. No moratorium has been handed done, and so the Tormey's and Joyce's have been working through their weeks as planned and so far so good. We've been living out the week we missed through them. We continue to pray and trust.

With everything going on, we don't want to forget about Gabriella and the rest of the work we need God to accomplish on our behalf. We are trusting the DNA results will come back and confirm that indeed who we think is Gabriella's mother is. We'll cross any of those other bridges once we get there. But trusting we won't have to go there, we originally thought we would have Gabriella escorted back, because neither of us was too eager to hop back on a plane. But Looks like escorting her would delay so much because of all the re-filing we would need to do to make that happen. So it looks like just one of us will travel, and for Josiah's benefit, that would most likely be me. I would go get a power of attorney for Kim and travel alone. We found out first hand how much bonding takes place on the flight home, and we don't want to miss that opportunity with Gabriella. So we pray on.

Still Praying for the Joyce's and Tormey's

2008-02-06T05:11:00.000-08:00

Part of my heart is still back in Liberia with the Joyce's and Tormey's wondering what's going on and what, if anything, has been handed down by the Minister of Justice. So please continue to pray that God's Will Be Done on their behalf, that they would continue to have hope. And that their trust would not be in men, or governments or visas, but in the Living God who is able to do so much more than we ask.

P.S. To Diane Krenz, sister of Mike Joyce, my e-mail is dale@jeremiahsoftware.com I would very much like you to forward the e-mails you received from Liberia so I know how to pray more specifically.

Some Pictures as Promised

2008-02-05T20:18:00.000-08:00

The last pictures are the 3 girls we escorted to the Frye's last night. Today was a day to try to get a little rest, as well as help Josiah through some of the adjustments. He was very quiet most of the day taking everything in. Also it was the first chance to meet his brothers and sisters. Overall he's doing well and started to warm up and play with the kids - running, laughing and giggling. And just like a light switch he had reached his limit and begin to weep and wail and wanted nothing to do with Kim. And so at those times you need to hold him close as he works through the grieving process of all he has lost. But overall a good first day. You can watch a video of Josiah playing our drum below.

Back in the States with Josiah

2008-02-04T17:13:00.000-08:00

I can’t even begin to tell you what a whirlwind trip Kim and I have been on the last 5 days. In that time I’ve seen Minnesota, Holland, Norway, Denmark, Belgium, Liberia, Freetown (another city in Africa), Morocco, and are currently in New York. We’ve been in the air more than we’ve been on land.

We landed in Monrovia pretty much on time yesterday. It takes a good hour to an hour and a half to de-plane and go through customs and gather your luggage. The Roberts Int’l Airport in Monrovia is currently under construction, but most of you, unless you’ve been to a 3rd world country have never seen anything like it. First off you are not allowed to take photos or video of any kind, which of course I was doing because I wanted to capture every moment of our trip to share with our kids down the road. So fortunately the flight attendants had me stow it away quickly so it wouldn’t be confiscated. You de-plane in the middle of the runway, board a bus, and proceed to immigrations. There is a large UN presence there, so several men in military uniforms wielding guns. The heat didn’t seem too bad at that point. It was 87 and a slight breeze, because it was approaching dusk. But they herd you like cattle into a tiny room with 3 desks and they check your passport and visa. We were traveling with Tim and Kim Tormey and Mike and Pat Joyce. And as we were preparing for the “airport experience” on our trip over from Brussels, Tim and Kim realized they did not have their WHO (World Health Organization) Yellow Fever vaccination card. Kim is 7 months pregnant so she didn’t have to get one, but all that was required for their Liberian visa, so they didn’t know they needed to bring it with them. And Tim’s in the military, so his military doc wrote a note because he’s already had it from the Marines. So we began to pray for them that there would be no trouble through immigrations, and they got through without a hitch. Then they herd you into another room and there are about 100 of us who were on the flight. And 5 at a time they release you into another room to gather your luggage. Actually they take you outside to a tent where all of the luggage is gathered. Coincidentally every couple that was adopting, were conveniently filtered out to where we were the last people released to get our luggage. Fortunately all of our luggage was there, they verified the luggage tags issued in Brussels, and then they randomly search your bags for something. But once they found out we were with AoH, none of us were searched. It was pretty chaotic out there because there were guys grabbing your bags left and right trying to load them up. Fortunately Richard from AoH was there and he had specific guys helping. There were 6 so I tipped them $6 even though they requested $20. Richard was only expecting 2 couples because we were all told to not travel on Thursday and then on Friday told it was ok to travel again. So Richard really didn’t have enough room for eight and all or luggage. So All our luggage was thrown on top and a guy traveled on top to hold the luggage down, and we proceeded to the main terminal where Buster from AoH was with another AoH vehicle. So they transferred all of the luggage from the top to the other vehicle and we were set to go.

That’s when everything turned upside down. Patty Anglin is in Liberia right now and she called and requested to speak to me. Mind you we are in the parking lot of the airport, we’ve been in Liberia about 2 hours so its 8pm. She begins to inform me that she received inside information Saturday that they are indeed going to put a moratorium on children leaving the country, to be handed down by the Minister of Justice on Monday morning. Boimah was issued his Visa on Friday and she was recommending we get him out of the country immediately. There are three other children (Joyce, Odell, and Naomi (pardon the spelling) to be escorted by Daiku (again pardon the spelling) an AoH worker. She was leaving the choice up to me but she recommended we leave, because even though all the paperwork was finalized for them, she didn’t know what the judgment was going to be come Monday. Perhaps they would have still let them since their paperwork was done and visas issued, but she just wasn’t sure and didn’t want to risk it. As a parent I responded yes, get him out. That is why we came. But at the same time I felt incredibly guilty. In the short time on the plane, we grew very close to the Joyce’s and the Tormey’s because of our common experience and journey. So why us? Patty asked me to keep it to myself but that they had to order tickets quickly and she didn’t want the other parents to panic. So at this point, everyone of course is wondering what is going on. Fortunately Kim and I were sweating in the way back of the Landrover. Kim immediately began to cry because she thought that Boimah had died or was extremely sick or something serious. But I was able to assure her everything was ok and that she needed to trust me. So we begin the trek to the Guest House which is about and an hour to an hour and a half. But on the way, Eric calls Richard and says, “are one of you going home tonight?” Eric needed exact spelling from our passports to order tickets. If any of you ever doubt that AoH is fighting on your behalf. I saw first hand how hard they worked for us, through the night on a long weekend to see that we got Boimah home.
Anyways, because of all the conversations, Patty sat down with us over dinner to explain what transpired over the weekend and what she “thought” was going to happen this week. It was such a very difficult situation to be in. The same conversation was joy for us, but it was tempered with the fear and grief that the other couples were experiencing. Everything we had planned for all of our weeks changed in an instant. Just as I made a decision as a parent to fight for my child, they too were adjusting their week to see what could be done to expedite receiving their visas and such. According to Rachel, no policy change was handed down from the Minister of Justice in Liberia today so as far as we know the Joyce’s and Tormey’s are proceeding as planned. But suffice it to say, they need a lot of prayer to continue to have hope, to be steadfast, and to trust in a God who is in complete control of their circumstances.

Kim requested that she be able to see Gabriella, so they brought Gabriella, Boimah the three Frye girls over to the guest house and we had 3 wonderful hours with Gabriella (We will have to go back later at sometime after the DNA test is completed or will have here escorted) Then around 12:30 we headed to the airport for our 4:20 flight to Morocco and on to New York. All the kids were real troopers. All of them were up all night, and yet they’ve all been very well behaved and pleasant. Probably the funniest experience was their first encounter with an escalator in the Moroccan airport. Other than that they are such a joy to be with and whatever heartache and sacrifice and struggle we’ve experience to this point, it’s been a great joy to be with them. Daiku is staying back in New York and we are continuing to escort the three girls to Minneapolis for their reunion with their Ma and Pa Frye. So I'm sure there will be much excitement in MN in 4 hours.

Lastly, I did find out that my grandmother passed away yesterday at the age of 87. She was a wonderful woman who always made holidays special. When I think of Grandma, I think of food because she was a great cook. She always had your favorites and my mother has continued that tradition. Grandma made the best bread and rolls, and she always had my favorite candy around – Kit Kat’s probably because they were one of my grandpa’s favorites too. I have so many fond memories of going up to her cottage in Crivitz and just being together on holidays and family get togethers. If anyone knew Mabel, she was the ultimate worrier, but I knew it was only because she cared so much. Even in her later years when grandpa was struggling with Alzheimer’s, I enjoyed our Sunday afternoon visits. She always loved the kids coming to visit because they brought her joy. So I’m going to miss my Grandma, but the consolation in all this is that I will be home for the funeral, which means so very much to me.

Well we have more flying to do, but I hope to have another update tomorrow with pictures.

Good Morning from Brussels

2008-02-02T23:27:00.000-08:00

Well in a couple hours we'll be airborne. We woke up at 4am this morning. Excited a bit and also hot. But Kim reminded me it will be nothing like the heat we will be trying to sleep in this week. And then we thought of poor Josiah trying to adjust to our climate. We'll be uncomfortable for a week, but he will be for much longer. Anyways, the journey continues. We will try to document everything through pictures, videos and journaling for us to share with the kids when they grow up. Thanks for going with us.

Dinner in Brussels

2008-02-02T12:00:00.001-08:00

After a 3-4 hour nap we took the train into Brussels to have dinner. So what do you have when your in Brussels you ask? Italiano. Kim had Lasagna and I had seafood spaghetti. And they gave Kim a complimentary glass of wine and me a Belgian Beer. Any of you that know us, know we don't drink, but when in Belgium, do as the Belgians do. Our main goal in dinner was to get to dessert - so we could have a belgian waffle (pictured above). It was just a nice time to talk and and enjoy each other's company and the quiet. This is the end of romantic getaways for us for a while. But very much looking forward to the future

Time to Rest

2008-02-02T03:35:00.000-08:00

Well we are tucked away in the Sheraton across from the Brussels airport. Time to freshen up and rest. It's so good to be together.

I have removed the account I posted on our blog about what happened in Liberia on Thursday because I was informed it was all false. It was true that there were problems issuing visas, but the account of why was false. There will be time when I get back or perhaps when we are in Liberia to sort that out. But the bottom line for Kim and I is that we are heading to pick up our son and are going to enjoy everything about his homecoming, and hopefully in the process God will work a miracle for Gabriella. Thanks to all who continually pray and encourage.

Made it to Brussels

2008-02-02T02:24:00.001-08:00

Just wanted to let everyone know we made to Brussels safe and sound. So we'll take the day to recover, refresh and rest. We fly out at noon tomorrow CET (5am CST). In Norway when they announced it was time to board, I could not find my passport. I'm frantically searching and searching and near tears. I was just shaking. But thankfully i found it - just tired. Because I didn't know I was heading to Liberia, I had electronically checked into my flight back to the US on-line yesterday. My flight to the US was going through Amsterdam, but my new flight to Brussels went through Coppenhagen. I asked Dee my associate if I needed to do anything about my other flight and she said "No, you'll just be a no show". So I get up to my gate, and hand my passport over, and as their reviewing it they begin paging me for the flight to Amsterdam. Basten is not a very common name in Norway, especially Dale Basten, so the stewardess hearing the page, took a second look and looked at me with a "that's strange" look and laughed and sent me on.

We'll fill you in later on our day.

Quick Quick Update

2008-02-01T19:20:00.000-08:00

Good Morning and Greetings from Norway. It's 4:15am and thankfully the Lord woke me up even though the wake up call from the front desk did not come. I received and e-mail indicating Kim's plane left an hour late but she was still scheduled to arrive 2 hours before me.

Also regarding my previous post, and especially the part about what actually caused the delay, someone I respect informed me to check out the AoH group post regarding it, and unfortunately since the last group closed, i never took the time to set myself up and join the new one. So I appologize for any misinformation from the last post about what actually went on in Liberia yesterday, but please know that I very much care about the truth, and appologize for any misinformation it may represent.

Next post will be from Brussels.

What Just Hit Me

2008-02-01T14:06:00.001-08:00

The last 32 hours have been some of the most difficult of my life. I've been tested in many ways and through it I have doubted myself, my decisions, my faith... When you start the journey of adoption, it all seems so simple. There's this child that needs a home. And you have a home and feel you could love this child just like your own. But once you get into it, the simplicity of it fades and you can become overwhelmed with the challenge the process to adopt presents.

Anyways, in 15 minutes Kim leaves on a flight to Brussels to resume our adoption of Josiah. I hop on a plane from Stavanger Norway to Brussels in 7 hours. But hopefully sometime around 11am CET we will be reunited. And on Sunday we'll be on a flight to Liberia with the other couples who have experienced this roller coaster ride.

I'm not sure what happened in Liberia on Thursday, but the bottom line is that AoH felt comfortable enough that we would indeed get our visas that they encouraged us to proceed with our travel. So the same struggles and difficulty i faced making the decision to stop seemed multiplied trying to make the decision to go again. Anyways, that's where we are. We are prepared for the worse and hopeful for a miracle. We believe in the end we will come home with Josiah and feel he is worth everything we've invested in this journey, but are still trusting for a miracle with Gabriella. We are praying for God's favor and protection as we travel and will be available to whatever God will's.

Anyways, please continue to pray as you see fit. Kim and I have been totally drained by the last day and need to rejuvinate in Brussels in order to be ready to serve Josiah, Gabriella and the rest of those God would have us.

Lastly please pray for my mom for peace, and comfort for my grandma. They have removed everything from my grandma and have boosted her pain meds to make her comfortable. My mother had to gather the things from the nursing home and she was placed on hospice and in all likelihood will die during this trip. So my heart grieves.

Thank you all for being so supportive. We could not have done it without you. We love you and can't wait to share our story and children with you once we are home.

Very Quick Update

2008-02-01T04:51:00.000-08:00

No news from Liberia yet, but unfortunately Kim's flight to Green Bay was cancelled. So she is stuck in Chicago, but they put her up in a Super8 and hopefully she is still sleeping. She has to check out by 11am and not sure when her flight back home is. But I don't think it comes back until supper time. So I'll keep you posted as soon as I know anything.

From Disappointment to Heartbreak

2008-01-31T16:32:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately our news got much worse today. We were advised by AoH to not travel to Liberia. I can't share at this time what is going on, we will have more detailed information tomorrow, but it not a political situation nor any danger, but a situation involving all adoptions with all agencies, and the US Embassy will make an announcement tomorrow that will give us more information. Due to weather problems in Green Bay, Kim's flight to Chicago was delayed several hours so that she missed her connection to Brussels. During that time I was able to make several phone calls, get the information I needed, and contact Kim before she left the country. The weather is extremely bad in Chicago, so several flights were cancelled and what flights were left were completely booked, but an agent had sympathy towards Kim when she heard our story, and got her on a 6:15 flight home. Don't know the flight number or if the flight actually was able to leave in the weather, but I trust she did. The only bright spot in all this, is I was really wrestling with being away with my grandmother in such dire health. And I'm praying i will get home in time to say my good-bye's and at the very least will be home for the funeral. We obviously are numb from everything that has transpired. We know that we have more hassles ahead as our home study expires, and even stricter regulations come down from Liberia requiring 3 weeks stay prior to adopting. Not sure how all that will affect us and our children's future, but i will continue to stay true to my belief that it will all happen in God's perfect timing.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:7

Disappointment

2008-01-31T12:17:00.000-08:00

Gabriella will not be coming home with us...

Unless a miracle happens, we will not be taking Gabriella home with us next week. Chris Dehtho, our social worker in Liberia sent the following e-mail to AoH this morning

The Embassy has requested DNA for Kimberly Peters( BASTEN FAMILY). There is so much issue going on here with the Ministry of Health with regards to Case History reports. The Ministry has informed the US Embassy to put a hold on some cases that they claim were not signed by the appropriate individual. Acres of Hope is not involved but they are going to delay the issuance of visas. Please let the Basten family know that it is ok for them to get a visa for Boimah Mambu and that they should send over the DNA kit for Kimberly and mom ASAP so that we can start the DNA process from this end.

So Rachel, our AoH contact in the US sent us the following e-mail.

Kim asked that I email you, Dale, to inform you about the Kimberly's bio family interview. The Embassy has requested a DNA test on Kimberly and her mother. You will be able to get Boimah's visa and take him home with you as planned; however, Kimberly will have to wait until the DNA results come back. We are taking care of having the DNA kit sent to the Embassy for you. I'd estimate it will take about 6-8 weeks to get the results back (it's a lengthy process of getting the kit there, getting the samples, having the Embassy or Clinic send it back to the lab here in the US, doing the test which is the shortest piece, and sending the results back to the Embassy which won't accept emailed results only hard copies). While the DNA is being done, we will keep tabs on it for you and you don't need to do anything.

I am at peace with everything going on, however disappointed. The "good" news was I was able to tell Kim before she got on the plane so she has the plane ride to process everything. She is hopefully just beginning her journey over the Atlantic from Chicago. I so look forward to seeing her tomorrow. As I stated yesterday, I trust in God's perfect timing for everything going on. Thanks again for your prayers.

It's Gabriella's Mom's Embassy Day

2008-01-31T03:24:00.000-08:00

I've attached a couple pictures from downtown Stavanger. They have quaint shops and restaurants and coblestone roads. Our hosts Egil Mønnich and Geirr M. Ims from EM Software Partners took us out last night for a wonderful dinner. I had fish soup and a wild game stew that was in wonderful historic old ship building. They have been very gracious hosts.

Kim flys out later today so I'm very much looking forward to seeing her tomorrow. And later today I should find out how Gabriella's bioFamily interview went at the Embassy. Kim will have to wait until tomorrow night to find out.

Lastly continue to pray for my Grandma. Here she is pictured with the kids from a couple months ago. They've taken her off of her normal medicine and have her on morphine to make her comfortable. Many have said their goodbyes, and so it's only a matter of time. My mom put the phone up her ear and she said my name which was more than she had said for most of the day yesterday, so I take comfort in knowing I was able to say I loved her.

Another Praise!

2008-01-29T21:57:00.000-08:00

Greetings again from Stavanger Norway. Wanted to share a quick update. Kim was able to secure a bioFamily Embassy appointment for Gabriella's mom for tomorrow (Thursday at 9am). So God has been faithful and has answered our prayers, and we trust that by tomorrow night we shall be set to pick up both of our children. There will be two other couples experiencing the same joy as us in Liberia next week.

Also please pray as Kim travels tomorrow. She leaves Green Bay at 12:30CST and should be in Brussels by 7:30am CET (Central European Time) Friday. She'll then have 12 hours by herself to adjust to the time change waiting for me.

Lastly please pray for my mom and grandma. They have taken away all my grandmothers medication and just have her on Morphine for pain. Her breathing is very labored and difficult and her condition is not very good. Obviously it is a difficult time for my mother and me, being half way around the world and not being able to comfort her. Also the thought of not being there should something happen has been difficult to take. But God is the God of all situations, and I continue to trust in his perfect timing for everything.

Hilsning (Greetings)

2008-01-28T12:42:00.000-08:00

Hello again from Norway. Things are going well half way around the world. I find the people of Norway to be so very friendly and the culture to be enjoyable. In fact Stavanger where I am staying (the 4th largest city in Norway) was voted the European Capital of Culture 2008. But wow are things expensive. The average meal at a steakhouse is $60-$70. A car the size of a Ford escort wagon (Peugeot) is $50,000. I've never seen so many small cars in my entire life. A typical home is around $3,000,000 kroners (NOK) which translates to approx $550,000 and the typical home is modest ($1 USD = $5.5 NOK). They are taxed 25% sales tax on goods 11% on food, but hospitals and most education are free. So they are just used to paying outrageous prices all the time. Norway has a national church - the Church of Norway . Everyone born is a member of the church. There has been much debate among the people whether to continue this practice.

But now the News I really am writing about: THEY FOUND GABRIELLA'S MOTHER!

Blessed are you, God of Israel, our father

from of old and forever.

To you, O God, belong the greatness and might,

the glory, the victory, the majesty, the splendor;

Yes! Everything in heaven, everything on earth;

the kingdom all yours! You've raised yourself high over all.

Riches and glory come from you,

you're ruler over all;

You hold strength and power in the palm of your hand

to build up and strengthen all.

And here we are, O God, our God, giving thanks to you,

praising your splendid Name.

So they are keeping her at the orphanage or somehow under their care until we are able to get a new bioFamily interview at the Embassy. Kim has already e-mailed the embassy requesting one, and will try calling tomorrow morning. So although it's not a done deal yet, things look pretty good to get this done by next week. So we would appreciate your prayers to continue to cover us through this and all the way through next week until we get home. We need prayer for our children's health. Prior to this wonderful news, Kim was extremely discouraged, as Olivia was running a fever and then the school called to pick up Elizabeth as she came home early with an ear-ache. As a mother she is worrying about the thought of leaving sick children in someone elses care. There is some guilt in this as well.

Also if you could pray for my grandmother (Mabel) who is 87 and just entered the hospital today with congestive heart failure. Not only is this a serious health problem, but my mother, her only living child, is responsible with decisions and care. She is also the one who was going to watch the kids for the first 3 days we are gone in Africa. We don't want to be another burden to her during this difficult time. So we are praying for wisdom on what to do. Thanks again for your continued support and prayers. We believe whole-heartedly that God was glorified through your prayers.

Need Prayer Again

2008-01-26T04:34:00.001-08:00

Please join us as we pray that they find Gabriella's (Kimberly's) mother today. Chris (the Liberian social worker working our case) informed us through Rachel that they are sending someone into the bush today to search for Gabriella's mother. Please pray for favor from God to guide the steps of those searching on our behalf. We believe that God will work this out and that we will bring Gabriella home in two weeks.

By the way, greetings from Amsterdam. I made it safely to Europe this morning, and I'm just waiting for my final connection to Norway. Please pray for my family while I'm away. It was especially difficult for Elizabeth. Thankfully through the miracle of the internet and webcams, we'll be able to see each other and talk despite our distance.

Also God placed a national named Martina Gehrken-Trappe from East Africa (Tanzania) on my 8 1/2 flight from Minneapolis to Amsterdam. We had a real enjoyable time sharing our stories. She is a caucasion widow who grew up in Germany, but has spent the last 23 years in Tanzania. Her children are grown, but she has many African foster children and mothers that she supports through her B&B in Tanzania. Check out her wonderful place at http://www.rivertrees.com/. Also she is involved with NGOs and actually had Bono from U2 at her place and she prepared dinner for 500 people involved with TED (http://www.ted.com/ ). Check it out - it looks pretty interesting.

It's Official - Josiah is Ours!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-01-24T10:43:00.000-08:00

Finally great news after a roller coaster week. We received word from AoH that Josiah's BioFamily interview went without a hitch today and so barring an act of God, Josiah will be coming home with us in two weeks. So the Visa appointment the week we are in Liberia is merely a formality to pick up the Visa and so we have reason to celebrate. We had hoped to feel this excitement on Tuesday for both children, but we are happy to be where we are none the less. Still no sighting of Gabriella's mom. Another couple (Tim and Kim ... can't rember their last name) expecting to travel on Sunday to pick up their child were supposed to have their bioFamily interview today and find themselves in the same position of being unable to locate their child's mother. So they are in a position of not knowing even if they will travel on Sunday. So their are two women in Liberia being searched for. I intend to talk to the US Consulate and explain the difficult position this new requirement has put adoptive couples in - and especially so late in the adoption process. Right now, the system is broke, and so hopefully I can at least appeal to reason and see if I can't help provide insight from the adoptive side of things.

An Update (Finally)

2008-01-23T13:00:00.000-08:00

We received an update from AoH late this afternoon. Basically nothing took place at the Embassy yesterday for either Gabriella or Josiah. They still have not been able to locate Gabriella's mother and so we continue to seek your prayers on our behalf. When a mother drops off a child they require 3 phone numbers. 2 of the three numbers that her mother provided are dead or no longer in service. The one number they called and did reach someone (either a relative or friend) but that person has not seen Gabriella's mother. We don't know how long its been since she's last been seen. But the social worker or staff from AoH Liberia have made one visit to the last known area where Gabriella's mom was and did not locate her or any information about her whereabouts. But they are going to continue to try and make some other visits/contacts in order to locate her. They are honoring our request and going ahead with Josiah's BioFamily visa appointment tomorrow and so we expect to keep our scheduled trip to Liberia in a week. They seem very upbeat and positive about Josiah's appointment and don't expect any complications. AoH currently has no Visa appointments scheduled next week, so if they could locate Gabriella's mom next week, they could get her in either Tuesday or Thursday without any problem. Even the week we are there, if they find her mother, I'm sure they could arrange a visa appointment up thru the Friday we are to leave. So our hope and prayer is that God will direct the steps of both Gabriella's mother and the social workers searching for her. So we are encouraged by the news and excited about the fact will can continue with our trip... but obviously pray for our hearts to remain steadfast and not lose heart. We haven't thought about seeing Gabriella and leaving her behind, but we are excited about seeing both our children, and anxiously await God's plan to be revealed.

And The Wait Goes On...

2008-01-22T13:40:00.000-08:00

Unfortunatelly we have nothing new to report. The US side of AoH was not able to get in contact with the social worker handling our case in Liberia. They continue to look for Gabriella's mother, but don't know if they went ahead with Josiah's appointment today or not or what if anything took place. We originally had a backup appointment scheduled this Thursday Jan 24th and have requested that they go ahead with processing Josiah if nothing happened today. There is no guarantee that that will even happen because only one appointment is required for both Josiah and Gabriella, they typically don't like wasting 2 appointments on one family. So we have no other choice but to wait and be faithful and trust that God is working on our behalf to accomplish what only he can accomplish. We will pray that the US Embassy will be lenient towards our case if neccessary.

No News Yet...

2008-01-22T09:13:00.000-08:00

We hadn't heard anything so I finally called AoH, but they hadn't called Liberia yet today to get any updates. So we are still waiting, but have determined that whatever the outcome, we will praise God for His Mercy and Grace which is bigger than any situation we face.

Look among the nations! Observe!

Be astonished! Wonder!

Because I am doing something in your

days--

You would not believe if you were told.

Habakkuk 1:5

Thank you to all who have prayed and continue to pray. We continue to have hope and cling to God's word.

'For I know the plans that I have for you,'

declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare

and not for calamity to give

you a future and a hope.'

Jeremiah 29:11

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST

2008-01-21T14:43:00.000-08:00

We'd so much appreciate your prayers regarding an urgent matter. We were informed this afternoon that they can not locate Gabriella's mother for the BioFamily interview scheduled tomorrow at 9am Liberian time (3am local). All the cell numbers they had for her are no longer in service or don't work or something. They do have some general idea of the last location she was, but somehow they need to find her before 9am tommorrow. She hasn't been seen and just have a general idea of where she might be. If she has died, they don't issue death certificates generally, so it may be very difficult to determine.

We really don't know where this leaves us. We don't think that they will allow Josiah's appointment to continue, because they don't want to waste a Visa appointment, when both children are supposed to be going to one family. Also if they don't ever find her, according to the new standards adopted by the consolate, our adoption of Gabriella would not be able to continue. So we will pray and wait and trust God will hear the cry of our heart.

If they do find her, we will give God all the glory.

In Everything By Prayer...

2008-01-19T13:08:00.000-08:00

We have waited for so long

for these children of choice.

Bless us

with an abundance of your love

that we may be good parents,

that we may create a home of blessing,

that we may encourage these children

to the fullness of their potential.

Bless our children, O God.

Give them security in our family,

the joy of laughter in our home,

and the courage to face

the challenges ahead.

Let our children know the love

we feel so deeply for them,

and let this love be a strength

to confront the opportunities of life.

Amen.

We had a wonderful evening of prayer last night. There were 20 adults and 10 children and Kim and I were truly humbled and blessed by it. We prayed corporately for about 30 minutes with the children, then dismissed the children and broke up into small groups of 4-6 to pray specifically for different aspects of the adoption and upcoming travel for about an hour, and then got back together corporately for an hour as they layed hands on us and blessed us and sang hymns and songs of praise. To say it was a blessing is an understatement. Kim and I were deeply moved by the encouragement and prayers.

We do have some good news to report. On Thursday we received confirmation from the US Consulate of our VISA appointment that we've been waiting for. It is scheduled for Tuesday February 5th the week we are there. And they re-confirmed our BioFamily appointment scheduled at the embassy next Tuesday January 22nd. By far, this is the most important date, and the date we are trusting God will be at work during. We would still appreciate your prayers concerning that appointment. Both the birth moms and our children will be present, and it will be the first time they've seen each other in a year. So it's bound to be an emotional day for the moms and children. I pray for protection over Josiah and Gabriella's heart so that they will not feel abandoned again. And that no emotional, rash decisions would be made by the mothers. Fear is not of God, but the truth is, that day represents the most anxiety for us. We feel that if things go as planned, Tuesday afternoon we will feel like we are "home free".

I will begin packing this week as I leave for Norway on Friday night. We've finally got all our documents notarized and gathered together for our two dossiers. I will join Kim in Brussels a week from Friday so pray for her as she makes the long journey alone. We land in Liberia two weeks from tomorrow and our lives as we know it will never be the same.

Thanks for staying with us through this incredible journey, and expect to see more posts over the coming weeks.

Raining In January

2008-01-09T20:36:00.000-08:00

Well believe it or not it was raining in Northern Wisconsin this week. It's been unseasonably warm but I for one am not complaining. At the top you see a cute picture of Elizabeth from Christmas. Of course all my children are cute, but couldn't resist posting this one. Next you see the current status of our bathroom. It's functional and looks great - just waiting on the vanity and the trim... but hope to have that taken care of before we return from Liberia. Lastly we found a new vehicle for our expanding family. Our current van only seats 7, but since we are soon to be a family of 8, needed to find something to accomodate us. And we had been searching and pricing them for awhile, but when my current car started acting up, felt it was time to take care of that. It's meets our needs and had a good price, so Friday night we go to pick it up.

Please Pray * Please Pray * Please Pray

Since I last posted, Kim and I finally finished the last 4 credits of our 18 required by Wisconsin for adoption. We still don't have our Visa appt the week we are in Liberia, and unfortunately have heard several "not so good" rumors come out of Liberia regarding the US Embassy. Originally Alma (the US Consulate) was supposed to be on vacation from Jan 1 - 15. So we scheduled our bio family interview and received confirmation that it would be January 22nd. Then as the 1st approached we began to hear that her vacation was changed to the Jan 11 - 30. First we couldn't get confirmation, and then we couldn't find out whether they were going to continue with the scheduled appointments. We confirmed the new dates of the vacation were true, but an assistant was going to continue with the appointments. Then today we've received unconfirmed reports that the assistant's husband has died and so the assistant will be unavailable (understandaby so). Still trying to confirm the validity of this information which is a very, very difficult proposation we've found. I spent some time on the phone with an assistant to 8th Dist US Rep Steve Kagen who will be faxing the Embassy on our behalf to plead our need for these Visa appts. But if the Embassy truly becomes closed down for 2 1/2 weeks, there are a couple families who were scheduled to travel and get their children during that time. Now they will be pushed back and where does that leave us...... ON OUR KNEES. We have no where else to turn. The Lord will hear our cry, and in His perfect time Gabriella and Josiah WILL come home. The other kicker is that our Home Study expires on Feb 8th, the day we are supposed to be flying out of Liberia. If we don't come home with our children on that day, all of us will need new physicals, and our home will have to be re-certified.

So if you feel compelled to pray we would deeply appreciate it. We are trying so desperately to keep our eyes fixed on Him and not our situation. Thanks again for your faithfulness to us.

P.S. Our church has scheduled a special time of prayer for us and Josiah and Gabriella on Friday January 18th from 7:00 - 10:00. We are so excited about this opportunity to be encouraged and uplifted and lay it all before the Lord. It's open to everyone, so if you're within driving distance, hope you can make it.

Just For Fun

2008-01-01T21:08:00.000-08:00

Don't send a lame Holiday eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

We Have Birth Family Interviews Scheduled

2007-12-26T08:01:00.000-08:00

Well, I stayed up until 2:30 again last night trying to reach the US Consulate and was unsuccessful. I tried right when they opened at 2 (8am Liberia) and was only able to leave a voice mail. Tried again at 2:30 and only got the answering machine and did not leave a message. So I sent another e-mail and went to bed. This morning we woke up to 2 e-mails from the US Consulate. They responded to Kim's e-mails and gave her an appointment on Tuesday January 22nd and responded to my e-mails and gave me an appointment on Thursday January 24th. We essentially stated the same things in our e-mails, so I really think one of the appointments will be cancelled, but I will let AoH decide. So our prayers now turn towards "no surprises" from these appointments and that no DNA tests will be ordered to delay our VISA appointment which we will need scheduled sometime Feb 3-8 when we are in Liberia. But we give all the praise to God for working this out. Please continue to pray for us through this last stage of our adoption.

Merry Christmas

2007-12-24T14:04:00.000-08:00

I hope the joy of Christ fills your heart this Christmas. As I was singing an old familiar carol O Little Town of Bethlehem at Christmas Eve service today, the third verse really struck me.

How silently, how silently

The wondrous gift is given!

So God imparts to human hearts

The blessings of His heaven.

No ear may hear His coming,

But in this world of sin,

Where meek souls will receive him still,

The dear Christ enters in.

For the gift of a Savior is still as real today as it was then, if you will only open up your heart to receive Him.

For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; And the government will rest on His shoulders; And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace. There will be no end to the increase of His government or of peace.

Isaiah 9:6-7

He desires to govern your heart and life and then you will know peace and joy beyond what the world can offer. Hope whatever you do this holiday, is fun and filled with family. God's Blessings!

A quick adoption update: I did not get a hold of the consulate on Friday. The US Consulates voice mail box was full and other attempts to other numbers at the US Embassy switchboard went unanswered. Kim and I have sent 3 e-mails in an attempt to reach her as well. I set my alarm and got up at 2am this morning and called Liberia because it was our understanding the consulate was open from 8-12 today. And they are now 6 hours ahead of us since daylight savings. Still didn't reach the Consular, but was able to leave a voice mail on her answering maching. I also called the switchboard number and did talk to a native Liberian that asked that I call back after Christmas (on Wednesday) to try to reach her. We were encouraged by another family who found theirselves in our same position, to write our Congressman, so I e-mailed 8th District US Representative Steve Kagen today explaining our situation, and asked him to try to aid us in scheduling our birth family interview and Visa appt with the US Embassy. AoH is going to help us in whatever way possible. But I am extremely confident that God will work out the details, and that I will be sure to give him the glory when He does. Until then I will pray and ask you to join us.

Please pray for AoH. It was been an emotion packed week, ever since I posted the a letter on December 17th from another couple's experience. It has stirred up a hornets nest of emotion and verbal attacks. Some of which hasn't been glorifying to God. Some of it I feel is a spiritual attack and so please pray for the leadership and staff of AoH, and all of us involved, for our precious children, and whatever else the Lord leads. We do appreciate it.

Once again - Merry Christmas!

Another Step of Faith

2007-12-21T10:55:00.000-08:00

The LORD sustains all who fall
    And raises up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to You,
    And You give them their food in due time.
You open Your hand
    And satisfy the desire of every living thing.
The LORD is righteous in all His ways
    And kind in all His deeds.
The LORD is near to all who call upon Him,
    To all who call upon Him in truth.
He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him;
    He will also hear their cry and will save them.

    Psalm 145:14-19

Well we are trusting God to work out some details. We have sent several e-mails to the US Consulate in Liberia and have not received any replys. Also tried several times to call and reach her personally but were unsucessful and her voice mail box is full. Our understanding as to the slow down in adoptions over the past several months has been related to understaffing at the Embassy office with the implementation of many new requirements to complete adoptions. So although we didn't get the information we had hoped, we have went ahead and scheduled our flights to Liberia, trusting God to do what He does best - work out the impossible in a way only He can. The only change from the previous post, is that we will fly out Friday (Feb 8th) night rather than Sunday, so we'll arrive back in Wisconsin on Saturday February 9th (our son Caleb's birthday) raher than Monday. So please join us as we pray for God's mercy and hand of grace to accomplish the "impossible".

Merry Christmas Everyone

Tenative Travel Dates Set

2007-12-19T20:42:00.000-08:00

That's a picture of Roberts International Airport in Monrovia, Liberia - pretty modern huh? Anyways, Kim spoke with a travel agent today and tenatively scheduled our flights to Liberia. There is a whole bunch that we are trusting God for with this, but right now I am tenatively scheduled to be in Norway on business from Jan 26 - Feb 1. Kim has scheduled to meet me in Brussels on Friday Feb 1. She will arrive in the morning and hopefully i will arrive in the evening sometime. It is a 2hr flight from where I will be in Sandees Norway. Then hopefully we'll enjoy Saturday in Paris, and on Sunday take a flight out to Liberia. Monday is typically a day to sight see and shop in Liberia. On Tuesday Feb 5th would be our "gotcha" day where we'd see Josiah and Gabriella for the first time. Thursday Feb 7 most likely will be our embassy date. There were no flights available that Friday, so we would be stuck in Liberia until Sunday afternoon, which would give us a chance to worship at a church "Liberian Style". Then the long flight back would bring us home to Green Bay on Monday Feb 11 around supper time. We've currently just reserved a lap ticket for Gabriella. The good news is with me being in Norway on business, it will cut about $500 off of my ticket. Again all of this is tentative. We are awaiting word back from the Embassy tomorrow and need to clarify some things with AoH. Also I have to clarify some details on my business trip and schedule those flights. All of it is very exciting and scary at the same time. But if all goes as planned (which everything up to this point has :) we should arrive back on Feb 11th, meaning our adoption trip took 1 year, 2 months, 1 week, and 4 days to complete. So hopefully on Friday we'll be able to finalize our tickets meaning from that point on any changes would cost us money. But we are hopefull that our time has come, and the real journey will begin.

Put Everything into Perspective

2007-12-18T20:46:00.000-08:00

Bathroom Update - dry wall all taped and plastered. Second coat of plaster tomorrow - so it's coming along.

The next three pictures show the house of one of the nannies that works at the orphanage (borrowed from Donna Barber who used to be the US coordinator for AoH - http://outnumberedby12.blogspot.com/ ). Take a look around you. How many people live in your house? What conveniences do you enjoy? What things do you own just for decoration to make your house look nice? This shanty is shared by 20 people and no bigger than Donna's dining room. They are so poor and we are so rich.

Where do you work? Do you like your job? What benefits do you have? Is it a nice place to work? The next two pictures show the rock hill. They pound rock all day long into tiny rocks and then sell it. They make .40 a day.

Regarding the letter I posted on our blog yesterday, I have another perspective from someone who has lived in Africa, worked in a lot of villages and seen a lot of African culture and day to day life. As Kim and I are working through our adoption class With Eyes Wide Open - one of the things I realized, is that I know very little about Liberian culture. One of the homeworks asked us what we knew about dating and marriage customs, how children are disciplined, how teens are controlled, what holidays they celebrate, what they think of police, etc. Anyways, what we view as appropriate or inappropriate is completely different in a different culture. Does it mean one is right and one is wrong? Usually not - just that they are different. Anyways, here is an African perspective on what I shared yesterday.

An observation was made that when a parent went into the baby room at the orphanage that it was quiet-with babies just sitting in cribs with their faces pressed against the bars. That their baby, who I believe was 8 months old, did not cry when picked up, and did not try to stand on their legs. I can tell you from living in Africa, that an African baby does not cry. They are raised in a culture of appeasement (even the nannies will take instruction on this, but like any African I have ever met, they will end up doing things the only way they know) and Africans are GREATLY disturbed when their babies cry. When we were fosterparenting, and taking care of special needs babies for AOH, we endeavored to put them on a regular nap schedule, to help them get ready for their new life. African babies sleep and eat when they want,there is no schedule. Well, our day guards would come to us all agitated that the baby was crying. We tried to explain we wanted to help the baby get better sleep and waking habits, but they did not understand.

They govern their lives on meeting their needs, and they believe that babies are the same. No training of the baby to a schedule, but rather a quieting of the baby no matter what. I have seen multiplied infants and babies on mom's back, as young as 6 months, with suckers in their hands, ink pens, straws, candy in their mouths, just anything to keep them quiet. I have seen toddlers given pens and allowed to rip up Mom's Bible in church just to let them have their way and keep quiet.

We saw this not only in Liberia, but in South Africa as well. When we adopted our two South Africans as babies, they never cried! In fact, I always had to check to see when they were awake, as they never cried to be picked up when they woke up from naps.

Africans do not understand about the stimulation and play a baby needs. The nannies at the orphanage are doing a good job, but they probably are doing things the Liberian way. Much the same way as a Chinese orphanage worker would do things their cultural way. For us, we would play and hold and sit up the baby, work with the baby to stand, and on and on. To them, well, they do not do it! If you think about it, they come from places where all they have is a dirt floor, or ground, so they don't give the child real movement they need. I know this from long experience with kids there.

Also was brought up the fact that the baby's picture album wasn't apparently shown to him. Only a picture was seen of him with the album, I believe that picture is taken so that you see that the album has arrived, and he is seeing it. But it is unrealistic for nannies to sit with the picture album for the babies in the baby room, as they would really look at that as a waste of time to their eyes. It is a busy room, and for them to be showing the babies the picture albums every day or even every week would be time consuming, and they probably would not do it.

I do know however, that scores of older adopted kids do have their albums with them, do look at them daily, and do know the faces of their new families. I don't think it is reasonable to think that the infants would even remember the facesshown to them in a book. Perhaps even the albums would be unnecessary for children under 1 year.

Also mentioned was the fact that the nannies were listening to 'rap' music, and had to be asked to put on praise music. This made me smile, as I know from experience that Liberians (yes, Christian Liberians) are not very picky in their music. They listen to the gamut of music, they live for the beat, and in fact, they do not prefer our western style praise music. And they don't have an understanding of problems with lyrics. Theirs is a whole different world my friends.

They are very indiscriminate when it comes to music taste. This comes from a true lack of teaching in the country on how to really live the Christian life. You find compromise all over the place(But then, we have that problem in America too!)

However, it is a fact that the children do get Bible stories, lessons, and learn Sunday School songs, as many of your kids come home singing them! You have posted many heartwarming stories of your kids talking about some spiritual truth, or singing songs. So I don't believe the spiritual atmostphere at the AOHL orphanage is lacking.

I would like to also mention that scores of AOH children have intake pictures that tear your heart out. Weak, dirty, sickly, thin, and raggedy. Many of you have these pictures. Then look at the pictures you got every few months, if you got an update. Your children are filling out, clean, nicely clothed. This does not look like a place where the children are malnourished in any way to me. In fact I personally know they children eat very well. I am not sure why the pediatrician diagnosed the 8 month old as malnourished at some time in his past, or how they could tell that, but I do know the children are fed, and fed well.

Lastly, I might add a statement was made regarding an AOH employee seen giving money at the airport to someone. I really have to smile over that one. My friends, have you ever lived in Liberia? Did you take the time to ask what that was all about? We gladly paid extraamounts to Liberian to help us through airports, and the like, because they see it as a way to earn extra money. There is an excellent book calld African Friends and Money Matters, written by a missionary, that really clearly outlines the challenges of living in these countries. It is not something that you can just take at face value and call bribery. Not at all! The Liberians have a system of taking care of your needs, and taking care of theirs. Granted it is not always good to give out money, but if you have an arrangement with a trusted person who helps you out through office situations or airport situations, then you have a working business relationship in their eyes. If someone finds you a parking place, and makes other wait while you park, well, they have done you a service (especially in downtown Monrovia!!!) They 'worked for you' and you can pay them.

The whole country runs on 'contacts.' In fact, you get nothing done in Africa with out your contacts. And of course, they are doing a job for you, so you do give them something. Remember in Liberia some of these poor friends work day after day and no paychecks come for months at a time. There is SOOOOOOO m uch Liberian history to all of this, it isn't possible to cover in this post.

We'd Appreciate Your Prayers

2007-12-17T19:47:00.000-08:00

Bathroom Update: all the drywall is up and tomorrow we'll be taping and mudding.

Another couple who recently returned home from Liberia with their son two weeks ago, posted the following letter on their blog that they sent to Acres of Hope whom we are adopting through. I post it here (with permission) to help you understand some of the difficulties Kim and I are experiencing over the past couple weeks (even months). It's been a difficult period of waiting for us, and if you feel compelled to pray, we'd appreciate it. After the letter I'll share some info about what Kim and I plan to do about it...

We have thought and prayed long and hard about how to approach this, so here goes… We have decided to make public our letter detailing our experience (positives and negatives) with Acres of Hope-Liberia (AOHL). Although some might view our letter as non-supportive or non-uplifting, we rest in the knowledge that God uses accountability for His best purposes. Accountability IS a gift, when brought with a heart for restoration. We know that we have a responsibility to the truth, and we take that seriously. We have been very uncomfortable being silent for so long, but we selfishly worried about our adoption being negatively affected by voicing our concerns, and we also wanted to suspend comment until we had traveled to Liberia. Our decision to write this letter, and in this public manner, was informed by the Biblical principal of bringing things to light for the purpose of restoration. It is very tempting for us to re-create our memory of events, and simply cling to an idealistic picture of the agency that helped unite us with our son, now that he is home… but we feel compelled to bring to light some issues that the enemy has clearly been having his way with in the silent shadows. It is our prayer that God will use our testimony to better serve the children in AOHL's care. We have been home two weeks, and have very carefully deliberated and sought counsel as to how to conduct ourselves in this. We hope it will be received in the Spirit with which it has been written.

Prayerfully,Corey and Jamie

To Whom It May Concern:

The purpose of this letter is to share about our experience adopting through Acres of Hope-Liberia (AOHL), with the goal of bettering the process in general, and ultimately playing a small role in inspiring positive changes that will benefit the children involved. We regret that we are unable to be concise or conclusive, because we’re certain there are many pieces to the puzzle that we do not have. Clearly, there are significant problems within the organization when so many key leaders and potential fund-raisers are discontinuing their relationship with AOHL. Nonetheless, we feel a responsibility to the truth, and we are committed to relay our first-hand experiences in an effort to provide those who can affect changes with information they need. (This letter will be made as public as possible; to AOHL staff both in the U.S. and in Liberia—so they can consider our feedback as they seek to implement changes, to Adoptive Parents—so they can consider which agency they want to support, and to Government Officials—so they might assist AOHL in bettering their practices as they are able, etc.) The information we’re providing is in no way exhaustive; we’ve tried to strike a balance between seasoning our words with grace, yet providing enough detail to be useful. We have supporting evidence (e-mails, voice mails, etc.) for many of the events listed here, and will provide them if necessary. For now, we have chosen to keep individual staff members’ names and written words private, as it is not our intent to single out any one person—in fact, we’re confident that would be counter-productive, as the problems are clearly systemic. Actually, we have voiced our concerns at different points to several of the key staff members at AOHL, to no avail, which is in part why we have had to resort to writing this public letter. We have organized it in outline form, so readers can focus on portions that are pertinent to them.

About us:

We are Corey and Jamie Z. We live in Oregon, where Corey Pastors a church of about 200 and Jamie works for a non-profit pregnancy center. While we are not world travelers, nor international adoption experts, we have adopted previously, and we have education (Bachelors Degrees in Business and Communication with an emphasis in Public Relations, etc.), and experience (10+ years in non-profit ministry work) that enable us to assess this process with some degree of understanding. We started our journey with AOHL in May 2006, received a referral in January 2007, and brought home our son in November 2007.

Communications With the U.S. Office in Wisconsin:

Aspects we liked:

1) We were thrilled with the amount of pictures we received as we waited to travel to bring home our son. We will always be thankful for his full Memory Book!

2) We appreciated the formation of the Yahoo Group for AOHL families, as it proved to be an invaluable resource.

Concerns we had:

1) We were frequently given mis-information. Following are three examples:a. We received our referral in January 2007, but the Affidavit of Consent/Relinquishment was signed May 1, 2007.b. We received an e-mail the second to last week of June 2007 stating that our son’s adoption had been finalized, and that AOHL was submitting for his passport the following week. Our son’s adoption was not finalized until August 17, 2007. As far as we understand, a passport can not be submitted for without finalization having occurred, yet we were expressly assured that the passport had been submitted for, and was expected at any moment, in early August—before the finalization actually took place.c. We received a phone call a few days before our flight was scheduled to leave for Liberia, on approximately November 14, 2007, saying there was a problem with our son’s Birth Certificate, and that it would have to be re-done. We later learned that his Birth Certificate had been issued on November 8, 2007, without error.

2) We were frequently given conflicting information. Following is one example:a. An apology was issued to us in September 2007 for the extended wait we had had in bringing our son home. We were told that he had been forgotten in the chaos of crisis after crisis, but that we were now the top priority along with one or two other families. Following that conversation, our son’s case was “bumped” three times due to other more urgent cases, and in November we were encouraged to make our own appointment with the Embassy to procure our son’s visa. We expressed that we did not want to “go it alone”; hence our decision to adopt through an agency instead of independently. We said since we were the top priority, we would just wait a week or two and do things the standard way. At that point we were told that not only were we not scheduled for the next week or two, but that no estimated travel date would be provided whatsoever. We were strongly encouraged to re-consider making our own Embassy appointment. Feeling we had little alternative, we proceeded as we had been urged. We received several encouraging, supportive e-mails from AOHL as we prepared to leave, including one the morning of November 15, 2007 which admonished us to work with the AOHL Staff in Liberia when we got there. Those positive e-mails were sent only to us. Later that day, we received an e-mail from the same AOHL Staff Member, insinuating that we were traveling without AOHL’s approval, which basically said, “Don’t think you will get special treatment from the staff in Liberia just because you’re deciding to show up.” That e-mail was also sent to a staff member in Liberia.

3) A lack of professionalism was sometimes demonstrated.

a. On the Yahoo Group, Adoptive Parents were sometimes chastised for “breaking” unwritten rules they couldn’t possibly have known.

b. In multiple phone conversations, different staff members slandered other Adoptive Families by name, and other AOHL staff as well.

c. Posts that call for any degree of accountability, or even just transparency, from AOHL are routinely removed from the Yahoo Group, often along with their authors. Any basic Public Relations course will tell you that it is imperative to be open and prompt in addressing concerns. The “stuff and cover” technique is not taught! Or rather, it is highlighted as what not to do. There is a wave of discontent regarding AOHL, and we’re certain it could have been avoided (and can be in the future) by readily taking responsibility for problems, and outlining a proposed remedy. We do not expect any person or agency to be perfect. Organizations are not static; they are always getting better or getting worse. We do not expect perfection, but rather clear movement toward getting better. But unfortunately, we have been seeing a downward trend, and we believe it is largely due to this apparent disdain for accountability and transparency.

d. Via Yahoo Group posts, and also in phone calls, the current Consular was denigrated. AOHL asked us to write letters to the Consular, for which they provided content guidelines. We now believe, especially after our personal experience with the Consular, that our concern was mis-placed. It seems clear now that AOHL’s descriptions of the Consular, the Consular’s agenda, and the Consular’s relationship with AOHL, were false.

4) A lack of integrity was sometimes demonstrated. We have heard AOHL talk of their desire to set a standard for Liberian people by their conduct, but we have also seen them conform to questionable “cultural norms” to get things done. No doubt it is a very difficult balancing act, walking that line; it seems to us AOHL has crossed over from influencing to being influenced, which may seem advantageous in the short term but will surely be detrimental in the long term. Following are two examples:

a. In an effort to transport some medical supplies from the U.S. to Liberia, a key staff person “brainstormed” ways to get it past airport security in conversation with us. We said, “We don’t want you to have to lie!” and the AOHL staff person said, “I do what I have to do. I do anything for these children.”

b. We observed a Monrovia Airport Staff Person being “paid” by an AOHL staff person for special treatment.

The Care of Children in Acres’ Custody:

Aspects we liked:

1) Several staff members, both in the U.S. and Liberia, went the extra mile to coordinate health care for Micah that was outside the scope of AOHL’s standard procedures. Even if our adoption had fallen through, we would still be thankful for the extraordinary effort that was made in this regard. Those efforts quite possibly saved Micah’s life.

2) Some of the Nannies were obviously motivated by their true love for the children, and it was wonderful to see their interactions with the kids.

3) The orphanages seemed safe, and the children seemed to be in a much better situation than many we saw on the streets of Liberia. The new Special Needs Orphanage in particular was very nice.

Concerns we had:

1) In our opinion, AOHL paints too rosy of a picture for Adoptive Parents. We were told many stories of the Nannies singing Christian Songs to the children as they tucked them into bed, etc. While some of those things are no doubt happening, we also witnessed the Nannies blaring rap music when they didn’t realize they had an audience. And they had to be persuaded by AOHL Staff to turn on praise music. The rap music wasn’t so much an issue for us, as was the false image we had been given.

2) The Infant/Toddler Orphanage, where our son was, was much worse than we expected. Again, we felt like a false image had been presented: We received many pictures of our son sitting on a play mat, and with his photo book that we had sent over next to him. After visiting the Infant/Toddler Orphanage, we had to wonder if he spent most of his 8 months in a crib, and rarely saw his photo book. We wanted to take pictures of the pages in the photo book to be able to re-create it when we got home, and the Nannies fumbled through every book in his room, obviously having no clue which one was his. They eventually found it in another room. When we got him, he did not cry whatsoever. If a peep started to escape his mouth, he would quickly insert his fingers and start sucking to comfort himself. When we visited the orphanage, all of the babies were awake, sitting in their cribs, most with their faces pressed against the bars. And it was completely silent. When we put our hands under his arms to give him a chance to bear weight on his legs, they just crumpled underneath him. We also noticed that he was gulping his bottles (often two 8 ounce bottles in a sitting) so quickly that he was frequently throwing up. We wondered if he was worried about when the next bottle would come, and our fears were confirmed when he had his first exam with his Pediatrician here. She said she could tell by examining his tummy that there had been times when he had not had enough to eat. AOHL can not argue that our son’s malnourishment was due to his circumstances prior to coming into AOHL custody, because he had been with AOHL since birth. We understand that we chose to adopt from a 3rd world country, and while we do not expect perfection whatsoever, in our opinion things are not good enough. Hence, our letter. We were told by AOHL staff that adoption funds are the primary source of income for the organization, and yet we got the overall sense that the children being adopted may not be the ultimate priority right now. We were given a tour of the complex that is to be the Executive Director’s personal residence/Missionary Housing/Guest Accommodations, and there were many workers actively building the structure, with a substantial quantity of supplies on hand. Immediately following this tour, we were taken to the abandoned, crumbling Orphanage foundation. It would take very little money, relatively, to greatly improve the current orphanages. The contrast of the luxurious structure being worked on with the sad state of the orphanages, particularly the Infant/Toddler Orphanage, said to us that adoption money is being used to fund other projects, rather than prioritizing the children as we’d like to see.As we said in the beginning, we have kept this somewhat general—particularly in not naming names or printing excerpts from e-mails, etc.

We welcome any follow-up questions to our letter, and ask that you e-mail them to us so we can add that correspondence to our records. Thank you for taking the time to read about our experience, and thank you in advance to those of you who are willing and able to use this information to better serve the children at the heart of this.

So what does all this mean for Kim and I? The most important thing we needed was credible information about our adoption and what the status of our children really is. So Kim called the AoH office in Wisconsin. She spoke with Aaron. Aaron Wilson and his wife Rachel have been placed in an extremely difficult position taking over all these adoptions with all of us wanting/needing info all at the same time. Plus we are dealing with a 3rd world country who is trying to recover from a 20 yr Civil War and a US Embassy in transition. So please remember them in your prayers. They are our brother and sister in Christ who are serving God from a sincere heart.

But our plan of attack with the approval of AoH is to go ahead and schedule the bio family pre-Visa interview on our own as soon as possible after January 15. If everything goes ok with that, (i.e. no complications, no DNA ordered or questions about the relationship of family and child) then Kim and I can schedule our travel 2 weeks after that. So that still means 2/1 at the earliest, but without any complication, we will have our children home in Febraury. I probably will be in Norway on business late January/early Februrary, so probably 2/8 is when we will travel. But we will continue to keep you posted.

Diversion Strategy Working

2007-12-15T18:57:00.001-08:00

Well our strategy to take our mind off of the adoption is working. We made some great progress on the bathroom today. All the electrical work is done, all the construction waste was removed, and most of the plumbing was completed including installing the new wrap around tub/shower. The next order of business is drywalling which should get tackled on Monday. But unfortunately the tile we ordered ("not so" coincidently named African Slate) may be the hold up in the whole process. Kim still needs to decide on the vanity we are going to install. Since we had an electrician here to rewire the bathroom, we decided to take care of some other needs. As I mentioned in a previous post, our house is 94 years old. So none of our bedrooms have closets (by design because armoires were the style in that era) and each of them only have one outlet. In our bedroom, the only outlet was attached to the lightswitch about 3 ft up the wall next to our door. So we always have extension cords either going up over the door frame or under our bed. So we now have another outlet in the standard position on another wall. We also added another light in our hallway so that Kim can see in her closet.

We moved out our armoire and our dresser to our spare bedroom, and set up Gabriella's crib today in our bedroom. And we have a toddler bed setup for Josiah also. We don't know how long we'll keep it like that, but as long as it takes until they've adjusted and attached to us. So that was somewhat exciting. Right now we can only imagine tucking them in, but hope to experience it soon.

We had Olivia's Christmas program at school this past Thursday, have the children's Christmas program at church tomorrow morning, Joshua's violin recital tomorrow evening, and then two more Christmas programs at school this week. So it will definitely be a busy week. But what a great time to celebrate - the birth of our Savior.

How to Cure Those Adoption Blues

2007-12-13T23:07:00.000-08:00

We've been silent on the blogging front because we have really not had any news to report. Of course we had hoped we would have had our little ones home by now, but that was not part of His plan. So Kim decided to take out her frustration on our bathroom and began destroying it this week. We live in a wonderful 94 year old home with lots of character. But with lots of character comes lots of old "stuff" that needs modernizing. Our downstairs bathroom was one of those things. When we first moved in 9 years ago, the first thing we did was redo the bathroom upstairs. But it was finally time to do the downstairs one. It was a full bath, but just a bath tub and old fixtures and tile and the works. So we are putting in a wrap around tub shower to meet the needs of our expanding family. I grew up in a house with 5 kids and just one bathroom and no shower. So you couldn't always wait until the last second. And our kids our just realizing that. I've seen them run to the downstairs one, before remembering it's out of commission and then running even more frantically to the upstairs one. But in one short week we are down to studs, have insulation up, and some basic framing. Tomorrow we are getting it re-wired, and on Saturday the plumbing. We are switching the location of the toilet and sink and building in a small closet for towels so hopefully it will continue to progress quickly.

As part of adopting from Liberia, we are required to earn 18 credit hours of classes to prepare us for adoption. Each country has it's own requirements. To this point we have 14, but we were kindly reminded by our Foster Care agency which did our home study and is responsible for seeing that we meet those requirements that we still needed 4 more. So we've signed up for 2 classes on-line - With Eyes Wide Open - A Preparation Guide for International Adoption and Medical Issues in International Adoption. We thought we could knock 1 off a week, but it's more work than we bargained for. 20 chapters and each chapter has a homework sheet of about 15-20 questions, and some have multiple homeworks. But in all honesty it's gotten me to think about some things that i hadn't thought of up to this point. My focus has been on how wonderful of a dad i'll be and how much i'll be able to give to Josiah and Gabriella. And in the long run I believe they'll discover that, but the whole adoption will be quite a shock to both of them. Everything they've known will be gone - smells, sounds, their nannies. And even though a family and home are better for them than the orphanage, they will miss that place and greive the loss of their biological family, their homeland, and the orphanage. So you can pray for that adjustment, and that we won't be hurt by any of that, because it's a natural process they will have to go through. But pray that we would be sensitive to their needs.

It is our understanding that the US Embassy will be closed from December 20th through the end of the year, and that after that the US Consulate has a two week vacation scheduled through January 14th. So please pray that we would indeed travel by February. I'm afraid if we don't that Kim will destory more of our house :)

Thanks again for your support, encouragement, and prayers. We certainly couldn't do it without you.

An Update on Our Adoption (Finally....)

2007-11-30T16:59:00.000-08:00

For all of you who have been patiently checking for the past two weeks, and found no update, I thank you for hanging with us and checking back. It has actually been a difficult stretch for us. As much as we have tried to be patient and continue to be faithful and trust God's timing in all this, it has been difficult to see family after family get the news they've been waiting for and begin to make travel plans. Don't get me wrong, deep down we are so excited for them. We know first hand the process and when you finally get to that stage, it makes it all worth it. But as we've waited, we felt like we were being passed by family after family wondering "what about us". You begin to doubt. You think the worst. And jealousy can creep in quickly and even anger or frustration if you don't snub out the lies. So a little information can go a long way towards fighting back all those negative feelings. So we got just that yesterday and today.

We received official word that Gabriella finally has her passport. 2 weeks ago we were told she would have it by the end of the week. They had applied for 13 passports and within the week had 9 of them. But of course Gabriella's wasn't one of them. They have to hand caligraphy them, and there is no reason why she didn't get hers with that group. But without the passport we couldn't progress to the next step. But we have hers now and are ready for our final step before we can travel.

That final step is birth family interviews. There are 11 children coming home in the next two weeks. We are at the top of the list after that group (mainly because we have been waiting the longest of all remaining parents at this final phase - today is the 1 year anniversary of us travelling down this road of adoption). So tenatively on the 15th or 16th of December our cases will be reviewed by Liberian Social Workers to make sure everything is in order before the US Consulate interviews the birth moms. So depending on how long it takes them to accomplish this and whether the interviews at the US Embassy go well, then we travel 2 weeks later. Now this could take a day, a couple weeks, or a month or two. The Embassy closes for 2 weeks in January sometime, so that will add to the delay if it doesn't happen before that. So the absolute best scenerio is we travel that last week of December. The most likely scenerio is we travel in February.

So we are in our final phase of waiting. We appreciate your encouragement and prayers. We look forward to the future with much anticipation. We know a much more difficult period awaits us once we get the children home. But it is our hope that a year from now that Gabriella and Josiah will be a well-adjusted part of our family and we'll be trying to remember what it was like before they came.

So Much To Be Thankful For

2007-11-19T21:20:00.001-08:00

We have SO MUCH to be thankful for.... yet so many around the world have so little. The latest gross national income per capita data for the US is $32,476.60 compared with Liberia which is $143.66. So the average American makes as much as 266 Liberians in a year. Some of the images above are quite disturbing, and may make you feel uncomfortable. But they are reality to much of the world, and so I would encourage you this Thanksgiving holiday to take time out to give thanks for all that God has blessed you with. But also pray how God might direct you to become more involved with those less fortunate. There are many needs local and abroad that God could use you to be a blessing to others. God bless you and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more.
Luke 12:48

Have you considered...

2007-11-14T21:44:00.000-08:00

In celebration of National Adoption Month have you considered how you might become involved. You might not be in a position to where you are called to adopt, but there are so many ways that you can still support or participate in the support of the orphans. Perhaps you might feel lead to start an adoption ministry at your church like we recently have at ours. Or maybe you have what it takes to be a foster parent. Perhaps it is with your financial support of our adoption or some other adoption or by supporting wonderful organizations like Acres of Hope or Compassion International which are on the front lines ministering to the world's neediest children. I would encourage you to pray and consider what blessing might await you if you do. I know first hand through our participation in foster care and Compassion, that there has been much blessing in giving to the children God has connected us with. And we hope to know first hand, very soon, the blessing of Josiah and Gabriella. The biggest hurdle is yourself.

P.S. On a side note, if you get a chance and they are showing this movie in your area, I would encourage you to see the pro-adoption movie name "Bella". Kim and I saw it this evening and really enjoyed it. Make sure to bring kleenex. Greatest line from the movie "if you want to make God laugh.... tell Him your plans".

Bittersweet

2007-11-07T09:47:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been presented with the question - "I've got good news and bad news - which do you want first?" Well in this case I'm going to present the good first.

They ran out of booklets for Passports so Kimberly does not have hers yet, but they have promised she will have it by the end of the week. So that's good news and puts us one small step closer.

The final leap we need is an appointment with the Consular at the US Embassy in Liberia. Because of them further limiting adoptions to 2 per week per agency, that means 8 per month - 96 per year. Because Josiah has been ready for 2 months now, we discussed the possibility about just getting him, but with the further restriction, it doesn't make sense for us to use 2 of those limited appointments when we really only need one. That being said we do not expect to get our children home this year. We are planning to that end and we are at peace with that.

But we would really appreciate your prayers. Every family is affected by this and it is a very difficult thing. But God is bigger than all this and He will be glorified in this in some way. We are in a position to see God at work and to see how he will take care of His less fortunate children. Please pray for God to direct you on how you might get involved to advocate for better service from the US Embassy.

Our kids WILL come home and they are healthy, and for now, we must trust in God's timing for all this. Thanks again for your support.

Discouraging News out of Liberia

2007-11-06T13:23:00.000-08:00

I'm in Texas this week on business, but Kim forwarded this e-mail from AoH this afternoon with the only statement "Feeling Hopeless"

We have just received word this morning that the US Consulate in Monrovia has chosen to further limit adoption-related appointments at the US Embassy. She will now take only one appointment (for the required biological family interview OR for the adopting family to file their I600) per day, and only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That means rather than four appointments per week, there will now only be two. To this date, every Acres of Hope-Liberia family has received their child/ren's visa from the Embassy. And, we expect that trend will continue, despite having fewer opportunities to apply for visas.

Please understand that this is out of our control and our hands are tied. However, Patty and this agency are doing all that we can to advocate for change in this policy. Upon Patty's return to the US later this month, we plan to fly to Washington, DC to see what we can do to effect change. And, in the meantime, we will be contacting our network to explain the situation and require change. We are extremely disappointed in the Consulate's decision because we have been face-to-face with mothers, grandmothers, grandfathers who are desperate to provide a better life for their children. Thousands of children in Liberia remain in need of loving, permanent homes, aside from those we are able to care for in our programs.

Acres of Hope-Liberia exists to serve God through serving the children who truly are the "least of these" in the world. We stand together with you in that commitment and we will not be daunted. We recognize that our struggle is beyond that of flesh and blood. We have an Enemy who hates the uniting of God's most precious ones with committed, loving, Christian families. Indeed, we are in battle "against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (Eph. 6:12b) We are united with you and with Christ in this battle, and we will carry through our commitment before God.

Throughout our lives and the life of this organization, we have found that spiritual growth thrives on challenges. Every obstacle we face is an opportunity for personal growth and for our growth as an organization. In fact, one of our goals for Acres of Hope-Liberia is that we would be constantly improving in our ability to meet the purposes of Christ through this organization. We are encouraged that our organization, as well as the entire process of adopting from Liberia, is being sharpened, honed, and improved through these challenges.

We are more than grateful for your dedication to the nation of Liberia, particularly her children, and your commitment to Acres of Hope-Liberia. We know that the families that partner with us in adoption and humanitarian work pray for the nation and orphans of Liberia, and for this organization regularly. We cannot thank you enough for standing and battling with us in this most significant way. We feel the power of your prayers. Now is the time to band together, to encourage one another in faith and hope. In the face of this challenge, we ask you to reflect on your original desire to invest your lives in Liberia. Draw strength from that commitment and expect our God to do the marvelous and miraculous on behalf of his beloved children in Liberia.

I responded to Kim with the following e-mail

I’m praying for you and us. I don’t want you to be hopeless. This is a the perfect situation where only God can work. In spite of our situation, we must just trust in God and not lose heart.

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. Psalm 20:7.

Please know that God knows our entire situation. God is protecting us and God will provide for us. So please just stand beside me, and we’ll continue to give God glory through this all, and wait to see how he works it all out.

On a side note, November 12-16 is Cry of the Orphan week on Focus on the Family. Follow along on-line or on your radio or check out their website.

PLEASE CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR US

All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Liberian Babes

2007-11-01T18:44:00.000-07:00

That pretty much sums it up. Thanksgiving is just around the corner (and is officially celebrated today in Liberia - one of only 7 other nations that celebrate Thanksgiving) and we have much to be thankful for. But with Thanksgiving comes thoughts of Christmas and Christmas "wish lists". Our children are diligently filling theirs out. And Kim and I have a very short list - and one of the few times they are exactly the same. We feel like kids with that dreamy eyed wishing, that we'll wake up on that magical morning and find that one thing we were hoping and hoping for. We know it will be a lot of lot work - filled with sweat and tears, but also much joy and we can't think of anything else. We want so much to get to the business of loving and caring for Josiah and Gabriella, and to working out the dynamics of their special part in our family. We've been preparing for almost a year. So I'm thankful to serve a God who know's all my needs before I even speak them. I was reminded of an important verse today

Cease striving and know that I am God - Psalms 46:10

So as much as we try, as much as we wish, and much as we think the US Embassy is a road block to bringing our children home - God is ultimately God and in control of everything. Nothing in our situation is outside His control and grace. And He will deliver our children exactly at the time He appointed. And so I rest in that knowledge. He sees way beyond my limited view, and has Kim and my best interests as well as Josiah and Gabriella's in mind.

So we wait.......

Fighting Fear

2007-10-29T21:05:00.000-07:00

Thirteen years ago on October 28th, 1994, Kim and I were anxiously awaiting the birth of our first son, when joy turned into tragedy and a birth followed with a funeral. I don't mention this for your sympathy, for God has carried us and blessed us many times over since. We have 4 healthy beautiful children and are anxiously awaiting bringing home our two from Liberia. But the baby shower on Saturday resurfaced many of those same feelings for Kim. Two weeks after her shower in 1994, Kim and I lost Jeremy. She was 36 weeks pregnant, and all the clothes and gifts she imagined using with our son, she soon afterward had to put into storage. So each of the beautiful outfits she has already imagined Josiah getting dirty in or wrestling in, and Gabriella she imagines as a sweet, innocent princess, all braided and bright smiled. We can't wait to squeeze each outfit with them in it. But fear has creeped in. What if we loose our referrals? What if some complication is found with the embassy interviews? What if some family member comes and takes them back? What if? We remind ourselves of verses like

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear - 1 John 4:18

Say to those with anxious heart, "Take courage, fear not. Behold, your God will come with vengeance; The recompense of God will come, But He will save you." - Isaiah 35:4

We're just being vunerable when we say "it's not easy". So we'd just appreciate your prayers for us to continue to be faithful, to continue to trust, and to continue to be patient. We don't want fear to rob our joy. Thanks!

Showers of Blessings / Getting Kids Pushed Back

2007-10-27T20:54:00.000-07:00

Kim's best friend Cari hosted a surprise baby shower for Kim today for Josiah and Gabriella - and trust me, that was no easy task. Kim and Cari have been friends since high school(over 25 years) and her whole extended family are our adopted family. They have become aunt and uncle to our kids and vice versa. Also Cari and her husband adopted a sweet little girl from China, and two of her sisters have adopted from Ethiopia. So not only do we have a great resource for questions, but a wonderful source of encouragement.

So about a month ago, Cari called me on my business cell phone, but I was on another call at the time, so instead of listening to the voice mail, I proceeded to tell Kim "could you call her back and see what she wants, i think she meant to call you". She replied "Cari wouldn't make a mistake like that, perhaps she's planning a surprise birthday for me" because Kim turned the big 4-0 on Oct 13th. So i listen to the voice mail as Cari explains she's planning a surprise shower for Kim and that I can't let Kim know. So here I thought I blew it before it even started.

So I got Cari a list of friends and family and the ball was rolling. She picked today - Oct 27th as the best day that worked for every one. Now the trick was to get Kim to Cari's house. Cari and Kim meet quite often for lunch or go shopping but they typically don't meet at each other's house, because Cari and Kim are 45 minutes apart. And in the past they've gone away over night once a year for a "girls getaway". So Cari thought she could pretend to have a getaway south of her house (because she lives south of us), so that Kim would have to drive to her house on the way there. So the plan was to go shopping just south of the Wisconsin border at Gurnea Mills Shopping Center. Kim said "that sounds great, we are going to be at my mom's that weekend and you can swing by Waukesha and pick me up". On the side, Kim was planning an early Thanksgiving in Waukesha because of some family things going on. So Cari's first attempt was foiled. So she quickly had to devise two plans - one to cancel the fake shopping trip that wasn't going to happen, but also to still get her to her house. So due to some scheduling conflicts that came up in her family, they could only go shopping in Oshkosh (still south of her house). But Kim was still insistent on going to Waukesha early (because the kids were off a school thursday and friday). So we had to arrange for Kim's mom to become suddenly sick with the stomach flu, so that Kim would not be in Waukesha until after the party. Shortly after receiving the "unfortunate news" my mother called to see if Elizabeth could spend the night, so that she could join my mom at the surprise.

So Kim arrived at Cari's house around 1:45 this afternoon. Cari said, "come in I have to get something", and as Kim walked in there was a large group of women in the kitchen that yelled "surprise". There were no cars in the drive way so Kim was trying to figure out what was up before it finally clicked. A lot of time and effort was put into it. Everyone brought a bead for a necklace for Kim. They had a special cake. Cari made a framed african themed collage of our children with an African runner on the table. After they ate there were a couple games they played. 1) 20 questions about Liberia 2)Multitasking - they had to balance a basket of rice on their head while hanging up clothes on a clothes line 3) sculpt Josiah and Gabriella out of play dough. And then the gifts.

We were tremendously blessed by people's generosity and thoughtfulness. Kim and I had given away most of our younger clothes to friends having kids because we knew we were done having our own. That was before God changed our hearts about adoption. So many of the gifts were clothing which were much needed and appreciated. Kim said "now I just wish we had our children to put in them". We also received a double stroller and gifts of money. We plan to purchase a dresser for the clothes with the money. Anyways, Kim had a wonderful day, was completely surprised, and we were humbled by the generosity.

Unfortunately we received the following news today regarding scheduling our kids pre-visa interview at the US Embassy in Liberia. Once this appointment is scheduled, we will most likely travel two weeks later: "This date has been pushed out a little due to some emergency cases (Darling Boy, Johema...) where these children needed to get home due to severe medical conditions. This has bumped everyone's appointments at the Embassy. I know it is hard to keep waiting, but know that waiting a few more weeks to get your child home has saved the lives of other children. You can be sure that you are on the schedule and we will let you know as soon as possible when you can schedule travel."

We would rather wait knowing our children our healthy in order to save and help those who are much needier. If you have a moment, I would encourage you to read the story of Darling Boy at http://internationalmommy.blogspot.com/ - (post from 10/15 The News-Charity is Home)regarding the Alonso's incredible journey. I was deeply touched through their testimony.

Again thanks to all of you who support and encourage us, many of who blessed us today with your generosity. We appreciate it all so much!!!!!!

Blessing or Burden?

2007-10-21T20:25:00.000-07:00

Kim and I were discussing the reality of having 6 kids and the changes that will need to take place once Josiah and Gabriella get home. And one of the immediate realities is that we can not all travel in our current van. The Lord blessed us with a Honda Odyssey 6 years ago and it has served us well, but unless we get a new vehicle, we can't legally all ride together. There will be much "bigger" things that will have to change as we adjust to not only having 2 more children, but children from a different culture with much different needs. So we began discussing that and the issue of what a "burden" they will be came up. As we've travelled down this road of adoption we've received all types of responses. Especially having 4 beautiful healthy children of our own (which is already "crazy" you know) why would we ever want 2 more. Of course our Christmas vacations in Bermuda will have to take the back seat for awhile, and my new Corvette, well perhaps i'll be able to afford it on Social Security when I'm 65. But in our society, children are an inconvenience. Children interefere with a "preferred lifestyle" and some parents just can't wait until the children are out of the house. But God has an entirely different view...

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate." (Psalm 127:3-5).

So the next time you kiss your burdens good night, Thank God for the blessing they truly are. And someday very soon, we hope to experience kissing Josiah and Gabriella good night. And soon after will come the runny noses, and dirty diapers, and spilled milk, and we'll thank God for each of those too!

P.S. Saturday night we carved the pumpkins we picked a couple weeks back and wanted to share them with you.

Lots of Snapshots

2007-10-15T20:59:00.000-07:00

We were blessed to receive so many updated photos of our children - enjoy!

Gabriella's Adoption Finalized

2007-10-11T10:39:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to share some exciting news. We hadn't heard anything since September 13th about the status of either our kids adoption process. So we finally felt the need to request for some info. We know AoH does a wonderful job in all that they do, and many of them go way above the call of duty in many cases. So we didn't want to be just one more burden of asking. But couldn't help ourselves anymore so asked, and we were delighted to find out that Gabriella's adoption has been finalized. They have applied for but have not received her passport yet, so we are still waiting on that. Also the plan was to have their pre-Visa interview in mid-November, but there are no guarantees. AoH received the Visa schedule from the embassy for appointments through November 6th, and our kids names are not on there. So we need to continue to be patient. But we are yet another step closer.

Orphan Reports

2007-10-08T10:49:00.000-07:00

Boimah Mambu
Outgoing, very active, and still a baby at heart, Boimah adds a lot of spice to the toddler room. Boimah (pronounced Boy-muh) is a strong willed boy, who is also strong physically. Boimah is very active and energetic. Whether indoors or outdoors, Boimah is almost constantly on the move. He prefers being outdoors, but if he's allowed to run around inside, he's content with that too. Outside Boimah really likes sports. Though he's young, he's already learning how to play soccer and loves participating in relay races. As far as toys goes, he loves cars, balls and just about anything designed for little boys to play with.

Kimberly Peters Calm, even-tempered and reserved, Kimberly is a sweet baby who loves to be held. Kimberly, which is pronounced by the Liberians like
"Kee-muh-lay" is smart, playful and a very good-natured 18-month old. Kimberly is quiet and easy going. She is quite shy in new situations, acting even quieter than usual and not saying a word. But when she's comfortable she will talk to herself, smile, and play with her friends. Kimberly loves to be held and if she had her way she would almost always be on a lap or a hip of one of her nannies.

Bath Time for Brie

2007-10-06T11:44:00.000-07:00

Here are some cute pictures of Gabriella (on the right) sharing a bath with two of her friends - Tracee and Bess.

They are all so cute and looking like they are having a fun time washing up.

We are hoping to be getting some more pictures over the next couple days, and with any luck even an update. We are trying to be patient at this stage in our adoption. Thanks for being patient with us.

Starting to Day Dream

2007-10-02T19:04:00.001-07:00

Unfortunately we have no new news to report. We had hoped to receive some updated pictures by now from AoH but haven't received anything yet. So I will just share some random thoughts.

We headed up to Door County this past weekend and picked apples and pumpkins. It's become a tradition my mother started several years back and so it's fun to get together with all my siblings and their families. It was a nice day to enjoy each others company, and to take in the early fall colors. While we were there we made friends with another trans-racial family there also picking apples that had an older daughter and adopted a boy from Chicago and 2 other children from Haiti. Haiti is where our adoption journey began, so it was great to connect and hear their journey and get some practical advice from parents who are 3 years past their homecoming. The greatest info they shared with us was about a salon in Green Bay that does African hair very reasonably.

Until we hear otherwise, we are still trusting we will be traveling in 8 short weeks. Kim is starting to get us prepared by making copies of all our important documents. We bought two large storage bins on wheels that we are hoping to fill up with donations and supplies for the orphanage. Mentally I'm going through travel arangements and coordinating where our existing children will be during our 10-12 day journey. It all still seems very much like a dream. I'm sure reality will hit very quickly once we pick up Josiah and Gabriella. In my mind I was even working through saying their names. Because in reality they are Boimah and Kimberly. And so our plan is to address them Josiah Boimah and Gabriella Kimberly, and then eventually drop the second name once they make the association. I wonder a lot how they are going to respond to us and being ripped from their culture and being dropped in the middle of northern Wisconsin at the start of winter. I wonder how they will greive that loss, and how long it will take them to trust us and know that we are here to stay. I wonder how well I will do at sheltering them initially. My nature is to want to show them to the whole world, but I know that during that initial transition, they'll need time to process it all and adjust. I wonder what their personalities are like. I wonder how it will change the dynamics of our existing family. I wonder how noisy meal time and bed time and van time and getting ready for school time will be. I wonder what it will be like the first time they call me "papa". I wonder....

As I shared last month, Kim and I just celebrated 15 years. So we are hoping to take advantage of this trip to Liberia by way of Brussels, to schedule a day in Paris before we pick up our children. Being such a romantic city, it would be great to experience that and connect in a special way before our lives are completely changed by Josiah and Gabriella. Lets face it, there are not too many baby sitters interested in caring for 6 children these days. And not many would we trust with 6. So the days of Romantic get-away weekends are going to be much more infrequent and more difficult to pull off.

So those are just some random day dreams. For now it is all one big question mark. So as we wait for it all to play out, we look forward to sharing the highs and the lows of this journey called adoption.

Introducing Juliana Elisabeth McFarland

2007-09-25T20:24:00.000-07:00

Thank you so much for your prayers. Everything went as planned today and Ava was officially adopted as Juliana Elisabeth McFarland today to proud parents Lisa and Pat and big sister Emily (also adopted through ECFA). It was a joy filled day and it was great to celebrate her adoption. Though as I write, it's 10:30 and usually around this time each night was my feeding duty, so it seems awfully quite. But Kim and I will enjoy some much deserved and much needed rest. We feel blessed to have been able to play a small part in her life, and are thankful for the new friends we have made in the McFarlands. Elizabeth and Emily became close friends in the short time we knew them, so we look forward to continuing our relationship and seeing Juliana's progress as she grows. And as I mentioned early on, it was a welcome break from our own adoption, so we are just that much closer to experiencing our own finalization and homecoming.

Not flesh of my flesh

Nor bone of my bone,

But still miraculously

My own.

Never forget

For a single minute:

You didn't grow under my heart,

But in it.

--Fleur Conkling Heyliger

Health Update On Our Kids

2007-09-23T14:26:00.000-07:00

We received the following update on Josiah and Gabriella...

Gabriella is very healthy but unusually small for her age. She looks like a healthy nine month old. So far there is no reason to think she is not 18 months, except for how small she is, but we will try to ask the birth mom sometime when we see her again. Gabriella takes 6 ounces of formula 3 times a day, in between meals and before bed. She'll drink out of a cup if you give her a cup, a bottle if you give her a bottle. She's not picky about how she gets it, but she loves snack time! Gabriella is in the room with other babies of her age group (15 to 30 months). She is now walking, though very hesitantly, so as not to fall. Gabriella is 28.5 inches tall and 18.5 lbs. She wears size 9 month clothes and size 2 shoes. Josiah is very healthy and right on target for his age. He is talking very well and is potty-trained. He is in the room for his age group (24 to 48 months) and fits right in with all the kids. Josiah wears size 3 clothes and size 7 wide shoes. He is 33 inches tall and 28 pounds. He is one of the healthiest kids we have.

Regarding our foster child Ava, her court date is this Tuesday at 9:30. So hopefully by around 10, she'll legally be the daughter of Pat and Lisa McFarland. So Tuesday night I'll be able to legally post a picture of this cutie (with Pat & Lisa's permission) so you'll be able to see her. Tuesday is her one month birthday, so please pray that everything goes as planned.

Until next time...

When Does 8 weeks Equal a Day?

2007-09-14T08:43:00.000-07:00

We received a call that Josiah received his passport today. So we went from one small step to a giant leap in two days. Josiah has been scheduled for his pre-VISA interview in mid November. It is our hope and the expectation of AoH that Gabriella's adoption will be finalized and passport issued by that same time so that we are back to looking like we will travel in Late November or early December. We will pray to that end. Thanks for praying too...

Josiah is Legally Ours

2007-09-13T15:48:00.000-07:00

We received a call yesterday that the paperwork for Josiah's adoption was finalized so according to the Liberian judicial system, he is legally ours. So we are excited to be one step closer. With him being legally ours, AoH can apply for a passport for him, which is necessary for him to be able to leave the country. This is taking around 8 weeks currently. So once AoH has a passport, they can schedule an appointment at the US Embassy for him to get a VISA, and once they have that appointment, we will get our call to make travel arrangements. As we stated earlier this summer that the adoption process in Liberia is changing. It is our understanding that AoH will need to locate Josiah's mother and get her to the Embassy. The Embassy will then try to verify that she is indeed his mother and that her intent is to give him up. If after this interview, they are not satisfied that the woman is indeed Josiah's mother, they may seek a DNA confirmation which prolongs the process. For future adoptions, this all takes place at the time the children are dropped off at the orphanage. But we are transition adoptions and unfortunately are not grandfathered in. So although we thank God for His faithfulness to this point, we remain cautious knowing that until we get on the plane to return to America, that anything can happen.

The reason we remain so cautious is another couple began this process the same time we did. And through the wonder of the internet and blogging and e-mail, we have gotten to know them as we've shared this journey together. The same day we were receiving our news, they received the unfortunate news that their son's mother came back to the orphanage and took him home. So we ask you to pray for them (the Avella's) as they grieve this loss and try to figure out God's pupose in all this.

Lastly, I chose this song "Awesome God" because Olivia our daughter loves it, and ever since VBS (the first week of August) has been singing it around the house doing all the actions. I'll have to take a video of her and post it soon.

I Still Do...

2007-09-11T21:48:00.000-07:00

Kim and I celebrate our 15th Anniversary today - September 12, 2007! WOW....it's an amazing thing - to know and to be known. To say our vows only took 30 seconds, but keeping them is the work of our lifetime. We could not be where we are today - in the process of an adoption - were it not for those vows spoken before witnesses 15 years ago. Some things have changed - which are evident by these pictures... but we vowed to continue loving in spite of all changes and adversity. The most amazing gift of marriage is how God has taken two different people like Kim and I with different gifts, likes and habits and has grafted us together as one. Early on in our relationship, there were struggles, arguments, and frustrations. But over time God has allowed us to become like minded on all the important issues.

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. Ecl 4:9-12

Over the past year divorce has entered our world to where our kids are trying to figure out answers to grown up questions. It is becoming clearer and clearer to me that not just any love can justify and bless a marriage, but only the love of Christ. He is the Lord of marriage and He holds the key to it. This is the lesson the world is struggling to learn.

So as I reflect on 15 years, I am deeply humbled. So many times I do not deserve the love of my wife... I hurt her through broken promises, by chosing other things and other people over her, through words I speak or don't speak.... yet in spite of all she knows about me and my flawed character, she chooses to love me. And the beauty of who she is shines through in so many ways, that all I can do is give thanks, and commit myself each day to loving, serving and honoring her.

And so I celebrate! Our kids our a testimony to our love. But I think even more so, our adoption is testimony to where God is leading us. So I encourage you to celebrate your own marriage today. It truly is a gift.

A couple more pictures

2007-09-10T09:49:00.000-07:00

We have just a couple more pictures to share with you. This is one of Josiah hanging out with Eric (I believe) one of the AoH workers.

Here he is again hanging out with the rest of his AoH family. He's wearing the same pink shirt as above in the middle of the group.

Here is Gabriella sleeping with her crib mate, and below hanging out with Ezekiah.
Well the adoptions in Liberia are running behind and though we know this is all part of the process known as "adoption" we were a little discouraged to find out that Josiah's adoption won't be finalized most likely until October. Each month there, is just one more month not with us. AoH does an excellent job caring for and meeting their needs, and there's no place I'd rather them be, given the choice, other than with us. So I'm thankful every day they are in such good care, but it's just one more month of time we'll be trying to overcome in helping them attach to us. So we'd appreciate your prayers. Not only for continued patience and trust for Kim and I, but that God could work out all the details to still get them home to Wisconsin this year yet. Thanks!

First Pictures of Gabriella Smiling

2007-09-07T23:52:00.000-07:00

We're exited to pass along these updated pictures of Gabriella (thanks Donna). Hoping to get pictures of Josiah soon too. In all our previous pictures of Gabriella, she seemed to be pretty "stone faced" so seeing her smile and showing off her pearly whites was exciting to see.

Gabriella is taking steps now (standing here on her own) but is not walking yet - but close.

We've been told that Gabriella and Josiah make a very compatible sibling group. Though not biologically related, they seem to compliment each other. Josiah is a little firecracker and Gabriella is very even tempered. They are both very sweet kids, and this papa couldn't agree more. :)

Quick update on Ava our foster child. She's doing well and is already 2 weeks old today. Her adoptive parents joined us for dinner again on Friday and will be returning again for a visit on Sunday. Things are going smoothly so far in their adoption and we hopefully will be able to hand her over by the end of the month. We are very much enjoying getting to know her parents and will post a picture of her as soon as she's legally theirs.

Lastly we've been working with our church on getting an adoption ministry going. Some of you had asked about contributing towards our adoption, and within the next 4 weeks we'll have everything finalized so that if you would like to contribute to that, you can. I'll have more information forthcoming.

Thanks again for praying for us, and for honoring us by reading our exited blatherings. We truly are humbled by that.

Pictures of Mukani

2007-09-06T19:05:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned earlier, friends of ours were visiting Tanzania and Rwanda to visit some of their compassion children and were able to work out arrangements to be our ambassadors of love to one of our own Compassion kids - Mukaniyonsaba Ntigahira (Moo-kahn-EE for short) from Rwanda. Compassion was kind enough to arrange for her and a woman from her base as well as an interpreter to travel 4 hours by car to where our friends, the Weismans, were at a YWAM base. We were able to give her a soccer ball, a pump, and photo album of our family(The video is of her singing to us, but the audio did not pick up well). But we were so blessed by her smile and by the ministry of Compassion, so we just wanted to share.

Grocery Shopping with the Kids

2007-09-04T08:43:00.002-07:00

Most of us in the adoption community, as a result of our love for children, have more than the national average. So shopping with that many kids can be a challenge. Kim hates it. She'd rather go at night when the kids are all asleep than to have to battle with them in Walmart. Well a woman from Chicago seems to capture the heart of it in this humorous post on EBay (scroll down past the Pokemon cards where she explains why she is selling them). I encourage you to take the time and read it and recall the incidents you've experienced at the dreaded grocery store. As a result of this post, this woman has received a lot of publicity, book deals, TV appearances - and when you read it you'll see why. As a fan of Ken Davis I have to remind myself with all the ups and downs of parenting to "Lighten Up and Live".

Happy Labor Day Weekend

2007-09-01T11:44:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to give you quick update on Ava. The adoptive family had dinner with us Thursday night. They are a wonderful God-Fearing family with a 7 yr old daughter Emily. Her and Elizabeth hit it off right away, and can't wait til they can see each other again. But we really enjoyed our time with them, and now the 3am feedings seem just a little bit easier knowing we are doing it for them and ultimately Ava. Kim also met the biological mom for the first time on Friday. She requested to see Ava and so the common meeting place for that is our Foster Care agency office. She could not look at Kim and was very distraught. Kim and I feared for the adoptive couple that she might be changing her mind. But the visit was also for her to sign papers to relinquish her parental rights over Ava and so that court proceeding can be scheduled. And as far as we know that all took place and we weren't informed of any future requests by her to see Ava. So things look good so far for Ava. But please pray for her mother. Obviously it's a very difficult decision, and from what Kim could tell, she seems to be doing it because she really does love Ava and feels this is what best for her. Obviously she didn't abort her, so that in itself took courage. But still it's very difficult on her.

Kim and I have always had a love for children and for Africa. And so we have 5 children we sponsor through Compassion International. Friends of ours have college age children who recently went on a mission trip with YWAM (Youth With A Mission) and as a result of that, can stay at any of the YWAM bases throughout the world. These friends and their 4 children just returned from a 3 week mission trip to Africa. We heard they were going to be near one of our compassion kids in Rwanda, so we were able to send pictures and a soccer ball and pump, and some other gifts. Compassion was kind enough to drive her 3 hours to where our friends were visiting one of their own compassion children at another base, and so we were excited to hear of their visit. Our 14 yr old girl Mukaniyonsaba Ntigahira (Moo-kahn-EE for short) has lost both of her parents. We had thought that she was living with an aunt and uncle, but unfortunately we found out she lives in an orphanage and is just so very shy and quiet. Her general disposition just seems so very sad. Our friends were able to buy her some food and gave us the great idea of buying her a bike because you have to travel so far for everything where she lives. The have some video of her that we can't wait to see, and actually managed to get her to sing a song for us - which is pretty amazing for how shy she is. Anyways we were very excited to be able to share with her in that small way.

Lastly we have no new news on our children. Several people from AoH are over in Liberia right now. So through them we at least have offered a hug to our kids. We hope to have some pictures when they return.

Ava Update

2007-08-29T21:08:00.000-07:00

Well our family has adjusted to having a baby around. All the kids are very proud of her and love showing her off. She's a very good baby and just a joy to have. Elizabeth and Kim are going to have a difficult time giving her back when that time comes. Tomorrow we get to meet the adoptive couple. They seem very nice and will be joining us for dinner. And on Friday Kim's driving back to our agencies office and will get to meet the biological mother. Continue to pray she stays the course and gives up Ava for adoption. The adoptive couple has had their heart broken 4 times previously - being referred for a baby, only to have the mom change her mind. But wish you all could see Ava - she's a gem!

Ava Has Arrived - Part 2

2007-08-27T18:02:00.000-07:00

For the benefit of those of you who don't know, Kim and I foster with ECFA (Evangelical Child and Family Agency - see our links). It is an adoption placement agency that provides support and counseling for pregnant mothers, but also places children into adoptive homes. We have been foster parents for 9 years, but because our own family is still growing, we've only been available to foster when we didn't already have infants of our own. Because of our relationship already with ECFA, they did our home study for our current adoption with AoH. So each child that we get already has been placed with an adoptive couple. Since it is a domestic adoption, we provide foster care for these children until the legal side of things is taken care of. Up until that point a biological mother can change her mind. Depending on the county for which the adoption is taking place and the backlog of cases going through their court, there is some variation in the duration that we will foster. But ideally this is 6 weeks. Our worse case scenerio was 5 months - but that was extreme. Most have been 8 weeks or less. ECFA does an excellent job ministering to these women and adoptive couples, so it's been a complete blessing and privelege to work with them.