Thursday, March 20, 2008

So Many Firsts

I had the priviledge of changing the first diaper, feeding her the first meal, giving her the first bath, and putting her to bed for the first time. All things that I wish so much that Kim could have enjoyed with me. She cried throughout the whole bath (the only real noise she's made) but didn't mind at all as I lotioned her up and put a onesie on her for bed. My favorite part was putting her to bed. I was standing up and rocking back and forth and she was obviously tired so I laid her down and she didn't object. We laid and her foot was touching my thigh. And she kept moving it back and forth. And periodically opened her eyes and in the darkness looked at me with those big brown eyes and said "your not going to leave me are you?". Even though I did need to make some calls, e-mail some pictures and blog, but I looked back at her and assured with a smile "No Gabriella, your daddy's never gonna leave you". And I gently stroked her legs as she peacefully fell asleep. I just took in the moment of her heart beating next to mine, and in an instant, it erased months of struggle and frustration. I love this little girl even though I still don't know her and am so thankful to finally be at this point.

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